Roger Federer

Dear Foxtel,

If you would be so kind, I have a request to make of you. Could you please play a fucking Roger Federer match at a fucking decent hour so I can watch one of his fucking matches during the French Open? I have not had a chance to see ONE!!!! I understand you're being teases and trying to get the audience to keep watching but fyi, most of us have jobs and cannot afford to lose 5 hours of sleep to wait up for a tennis match. We would LIKE to but our sanity and ability to stay awake do not allow us the luxury of doing so.

Many of you non-tennis fans (or simple ignorami) may be thinking, "but hey there Aphrodite - it is not our fault what time the match is on - Fox Sports is LIVE". But according to the scheduling program on the official French Open website, many matches are on at the SAME TIME. Therefore Foxtel wanks are making executive decisions with regards to what matches they show when. It is irritating.

Sure, I can sit through a Djokovic match. I can enjoy a Nadal match. But when you show 2 WOMEN'S matches in a row, we have a problem. Show Federer at a fucking decent time. He is my only reason for watching. You are about to lose me as a viewer. Do something.

Yours sincerely,
Aphrodite

P.S. This part is an open letter to everyone in general. If you are one of those fuckers who is all "Roger Federer is boooring! I am so sick of him being number 1. Nadal all the way!" I say this: Yes, Nadal is great, funny, enjoyable to watch and a perfect #2. But Federer is The Greatest. What has become 'boring' to you is simply how amazing he is. He makes RIDICULOUS, AWESOME shots look effortless. But make no mistake, he is brilliant, and indeed, the best.

Feast your eyes and marvel in awe (N.B. This is shithouse quality but it is the only video of this that I could embed. Go here for a much better version: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tVSXAXevWro&feature=related)



And some of his best shots ever (be warned, it's hard to look away. He does shockingly incredible things while looking totally at ease and in control):



I love him.