tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-80929946999180200322024-03-06T13:25:02.465+11:00wantaphwantshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16846095215452501499noreply@blogger.comBlogger187125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8092994699918020032.post-8843948854618308352016-05-03T22:09:00.001+10:002016-05-03T22:09:16.490+10:00More Bloody MachinaA WHITE BALL GOWN WITH A SILVER CUFF DOES NOT A 'THEME' MAKE JUST FYI.<div>
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Ok now that we've got THAT out of the way, and you can see sort of the tone this is going to take may I just say, sheeeeeit it has been a while since we've talked awards season fashun. Not entirely sure what happened to me between October-Right Now, but fair to say the time has come again. I'm ready.</div>
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The theme was "Manus x Machina: Fashion in the Age of Technology"…which as I mentioned apparently translates to a lot of white and silver. I just want it known that the Boobs Legslys and the Mindy Kalings and the Kate Hudsons and the Amber Heards of the world will not be featured here today. Because such giant epic failures of thematic disappointment have yet to exist until now (evidently I've lived a charmed life). So. Hope we are on the same page here.</div>
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<b>Things That Made Me Go "Ugh, no...oh…maybe…yeah...it's good!"</b>...As in, I've been thinking about it all day and looked at the angles and ok maybe I was wrong the first time and I will HAPPILY ADMIT IT.</div>
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THESE ARE PANTS. Who knew? This was also like entirely made out of plastic bottles or something. I ended up loving it. I am always biased for Emma.</div>
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Yes, this did look like another boring white + flash of silver ensemble initially but then I saw it on screen and the armour-like quality of the 'belt' dazzled me. It's so much more than a belt. She looks like the bloody queen of dragons.</div>
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This looks incredibly boring and goes against every nature of my being to include such a 'ball gown' in this column but…the birds lit up with her twitter mentions! THE BIRDS. TWITTER. </div>
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God this is good. She is the only Kardashian I am featuring here because it was the only look I could stomach today. She looks perfectly modern and fresh and futuristic AND she got to feature her amazing body with those cutouts. Everyone wins.</div>
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<b>Just, Nope.</b></div>
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Yes, yes, yes, it lights up. I get it. But it did not even light up on the red carpet. It was just yet another ill-fitting, pastel, taffeta Zac Posen ball gown number and I just can't accept that. I never will. Technology fail.</div>
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What. The theme…I just…nope. And you are so much better than this Chastain.</div>
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Nah but for real the China: Through The Looking Glass theme was last year. Did she miss the memo?</div>
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Of ALL the things Kristen Stewart could have worn for a theme that is so perfectly well suited to her, she chose this. A <a href="http://i.huffpost.com/gen/1777769/thumbs/o-KRISTEN-STEWART-900.jpg?16">re-tread of a look she has already done better.</a></div>
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This was also assless. And the bandages look like they are cutting into her. Anyway. Just leaving this here.</div>
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Oooooh Nicki. Whyyyy? It's not even just whacky in a fun cracked out way it's just bad.</div>
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Purely here for underwhelming me. One of my all time faves despite it all, I expect so much more from Sienna. Like a star pupil who fails even with a solid B+.</div>
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Doesn't hurt as much as this one though. From an annual highlight who brings such lewks as <a href="http://www.thefashionmedley.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/2006-sjp-alexander-mcqueen.jpg">this</a>, <a href="https://pmcfootwearnews.files.wordpress.com/2016/04/sarah-jessica-parker-met-gala-2013-1.jpg?w=1170">this</a>, and <a href="https://pmcfootwearnews.files.wordpress.com/2016/04/sarah-jessica-parker-met-gala-2015-1.jpg?w=1170">this</a> I don't even know where this casual little Sunday pantsuit came from. It's like when Carrie wore the fugly ass fugly skirt suit to her own damn wedding. Crushing disappointment and the knowledge that nothing is right in the world.</div>
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HAHAHA Little J is right alright. This one here looks like a deranged ballerina who is desperately trying to live up to her bleached blonde hair. And failing miserably. How DARE she co-chair alongside my boy Idris.</div>
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She's a…peacock…at an event revolving around technology. I think I missed the link here. Maybe they are recycled bottle caps or something.</div>
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<b>YAS, SLAY, YASSSS</b></div>
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My girl FKA Twigs can do no wrong and I think she looks like a stunning modern warrior woman. I'm into it. And R-Pattz has never been more attractive than when he is standing next to her. GET MARRIED ALREADY!</div>
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Hot. Mess. And yet...I am here for it. All of it. #nailedit</div>
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Idris Elba. In Tom Ford. Smizing at me. My heart is lit-er-ally a-flutter.</div>
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I want these boots *insert whinging emotional emoji distressed face*</div>
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I mean. Obviously. Queen Lupita continues to Queen all over us and I am basking in the glory.</div>
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No but really, I want these boots. I miss Michelle Williams so much throughout the year that I genuinely get excited to see her at the Met. I think she killed this look in the way only she could. Unless, like, Tavi.</div>
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There have never been cooler siblings ever and I accept I will never be worthy. Look at them! The attitude seeps out from the screen and I feel blessed just taking it all in.</div>
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Honestly, nothing groundbreaking really, but fucking hell they are a gorgeous couple. He also has robot arms, which I applaud. One of the more interesting male ensembles of the evening. Also Gigi omg you're so pretty. Love you.</div>
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Not to jinx it but I can't imagine a world where Zendaya will ever be on any other list than a "YAS, SLAY, YAS" list. I am so deeply into her, I need to chill.</div>
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#LEMONADE #FUCK #YES #SLAY #BECKYSKIN #DUSTTOSIDEBITCHES #MIDDLEFINGERSUP</div>
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Phew. Obviously Lemonade took over my life since the moment my Queen Bey dropped it and just when I thought she wasn't coming to the Met this year because of her tour, she goes and does this to me. And then Solange was Lemonade. I literally cannot. How can one make latex such an impressive silhouette and so perfectly crafted to a person's physique? And how does she legit look so flawless in it? I don't know. But there she goes, so reckless in her Givenchy dress, as I pick my damn self off the floor. I bet those two had the best time at the party.</div>
aphwantshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16846095215452501499noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8092994699918020032.post-60467912140298826902015-10-24T22:41:00.000+11:002015-10-24T22:41:06.806+11:00A meeting with Zoe Foster BlakeToday I had the absolute pleasure of finally meeting the divine Zoe Foster Blake in person. The 9 To Thrive Business Chicks expo was a gathering of influential, ambitious and overall lovely women and Zoe was one of many inspirational speakers at the event.<br />
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My highlight was obviously hearing Zoe's talk and getting a chance to chat with her briefly afterwards (basically basking in her glory while trying desperately not to gush *out loud*). She's funny, she's kind, she's generous and she's been wildly successful forging her own career path and doing what she loves - from beauty editor to founder and CEO of her own (awesome) skincare line Go-To.<br />
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So to celebrate my buzzy high after such a fun day, I thought it would be a good time to post the interview I did with Zoe for a site I used to write for aaaages ago. I emailed her on a whim back then and she was gracious enough to entertain my request with thoughtful, funny and insightful answers and I was eternally grateful. Enjoy!<br />
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Meet the divine Zoe Foster, giving <i>Amazing Face</i> since always.</span></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="EN-US">Age: </span></b><span lang="EN-US">31<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><o:p></o:p></b></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="EN-US">Occupation: </span></b><span lang="EN-US">Author and journalist<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><o:p></o:p></b></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="EN-US">Company: </span></b><span lang="EN-US">Why not! Bring some chips?<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><o:p></o:p></b></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="EN-US">Current Location</span></b><span lang="EN-US">: Syd/Melb<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><o:p></o:p></b></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="EN-US">Favourite City: </span></b><span lang="EN-US">New York <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Zoe, you started out your career as a Beauty Editor
first at Cosmopolitan and then Harper’s BAZAAR – how did you find yourself in
this (some would say ‘dream’) role?<o:p></o:p></span></span></b></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I was arrogant
enough to apply for a job at Dolly magazine that I was utterly under qualified
for. Nevertheless, Mia Freedman kept my flimsy little CV on file, and brought
me onto Cosmo a few months later. I felt very out of my depth, but beauty is
such a terrifically encouraging, kind industry that I was bullying women into
aqua eyeliner in no time.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">What are the biggest perks/downsides of being in
this position at some of Australia’s most popular and influential magazines?<o:p></o:p></span></span></b></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">The perks, as
predicted, are multiple and glorious: suddenly there is an inconceivable array
of products and services at your fingertips and you have to – literally, it’s
your <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">job</i> – try them all. There are no
downsides. It’s one of the very best, and most enjoyable and privileged, jobs
in the world.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Why did you decide to leave the flashy, glossy
world of magazines to help create the amazing online beauty resource, Primped.com.au?
<o:p></o:p></span></span></b></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I was already
blogging personally (fruitybeauty) and becoming quite enchanted with the liberties,
the space, the engagement and the immediacy blogging afforded.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To be able to do this as my full time job,
and for a much bigger audience, was rather intoxicating.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Considering your Beauty Editor and Primped
background, would it be fair to say that you are now a Makeup Expert? Do you
still find yourself learning new nifty tips and tricks? Can I have some?<o:p></o:p></span></span></b></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">It would be <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">un</i>fair to say that. I know a little bit
about lots of different things, but am constantly learning new stuff. Each time
I have my hair or makeup done I learn at least three things, two of which will
make my previous technique look completely outmoded and laborious. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Now seriously, are you some kind of over-achiever
or something, because in the midst of Beauty Editor-ing and Primped-ing you
also found time to blog and write THREE books (‘Playing the Field’, ‘Air
Kisses’ and ‘Textbook Romance’ – with your future hubby Hamish Blake. Cute!)
Where do you find the time/motivation to have so many things going at once?!<o:p></o:p></span></span></b></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I was a LOT
more disciplined back then, when I was working full time and writing on the
weekends. I used to write my books each Saturday morning from 6am – 10am,
without fail, because otherwise it just wouldn’t get done. (I’m far less
impressive now; I’m lucky to get a couple of tweets out in a four-hour period.)
<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">How difficult was it to collate all the beauty
information you have acquired over the years into your book/bible ‘Amazing
Face’ (seriously ladies, RUN don’t walk to buy this book - it contains all the
answers to all your beauty questions, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">ever</i>)?
<o:p></o:p></span></span></b></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">A lot of it was
in my head and quite easy to lovingly dribble out onto the page. The most
useful and quirky tips and tricks stick, they’re the ones you find yourself
giving out at dinner parties, and re-writing again and again in new and
thrilling ways. I wanted the book to be full of those tips, a kind of best of,
I guess.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Your most recent book ‘The Younger Man’ was
released earlier this year and it is as delightfully witty and hilarious as you
are. As you’ve mentioned, this seems to be your least autobiographical novel,
so did you find it easier or more difficult to write than the others? Why?<o:p></o:p></span></span></b></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Harder AND
easier, which is an annoying answer but truthful. I loved the freedom of
creating entirely new people and situations and circumstances, but missed the
laziness of my first novels, where I already had a mound of experiences and
memories and conversations in my head to plagiarise.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Aside from gorgeous young 22-year-olds Abby also
comes across a sneaky, competitive colleague who, in essence, screws her over.
Considering the fact that you’ve worked in magazines and beauty, have you ever
encountered or witnessed similar nastiness in these notoriously fierce
industries?<o:p></o:p></span></span></b></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I can say
without a crossed finger or wink of an eye that I have not. I started in
women’s magazines and beauty expecting to meet a rash of TV-sitcom style
terrors, the kind of women who crushed your confidence in one stamp of a stiletto,
and stole your ideas, and probably your boyfriends too, but “sadly” the only
women I met were generous, kind, intelligent, charming, sweet and funny.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">As a Proper Writer, what exactly does your typical
day entail? Is it all midday yoga classes and endless coffee breaks? (i.e. are
you living The Dream?)<o:p></o:p></span></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US">How dare you!</span></i><span lang="EN-US"> Just because it’s 11am and I am still wearing
Pilates gear whose necessity expired several hours ago, and my only
“appointment” today is to get to the post office, does not mean I am living
some kind of wonderful, flexible writing dream ride! Only it does. And I am. And
not a day passes when I don’t express gratitude for it. For me, being able to
be anywhere in the world <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(especially
places that are beautiful, and exciting and inspiring) and still able to work
was always deemed the highest luxury, and I am extremely lucky to be doing just
that. It won’t last forever, but MAN am I sucking the marrow while I can.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">If you could only use three beauty products for the
rest of your life, which ones would you choose and why?<o:p></o:p></span></span></b></div>
<ul style="margin-top: 0cm;" type="disc">
<li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Rosehip oil, so my skin is being all loved and
nourished and ‘age-proofed’<o:p></o:p></span></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Dry shampoo, so I needn’t wash my hair very
often, and would enjoy some great texture and volume<o:p></o:p></span></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span lang="EN-US">Tinted moisturiser with SPF, so I am protected
from the sun and have some glowy, sheer coverage.</span> </span></li>
</ul>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Why should people go out and buy your books right
now, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">this very second</i>?<o:p></o:p></span></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Because Khloe
and Lamar isn’t on for hours and you’ve already read The Hunger Games?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Finally, if you could get leathered with anyone in
the world, past or present, who would it be?<o:p></o:p></span></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Kristen Wiig.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">P.S. New BFFs?</span></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Your half of
the charm necklace is already in the mail. (Told you I had to go</span></span><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"> to the PO
today.)</span></span></div>
aphwantshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16846095215452501499noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8092994699918020032.post-23482235982014520422015-09-21T22:34:00.000+10:002015-09-21T22:51:08.666+10:00A Taste of Awards Season...It's starting again folks. The sweet, familiar scent of Awards Season tantalisingly hangs in the air and I felt it the second I woke up, tingling with excitement and anticipation. But today was different than most red carpet extravaganzas…there was something…off.<br />
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It likely started when I got to work and remembered that with my new fabulous corner-desk-with-a-view I no longer had a television nearby so that I could peak at the dresses, listen to the opening monologue and be immediately aware of a Julia Louis Dreyfuss audience-participation gag and get swept up in the experience. I mean, I am not complaining, I'm just saying. I was…disassociated.<br />
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It became worse whenever I caught a glimpse of Amy Poehler onscreen - where normally I would be overjoyed and excited, she's become painful to watch and it only reminds me of the three best Golden Globes of all time and pretty much every hilarious Emmys moment in recent history, but I just can't forgive her for <a href="http://www.vibe.com/2015/08/amy-poehler-blue-ivy-joke-difficult-people/">this</a> and it hurts.<br />
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Over in my corner and in the midst of the pain however, I did manage to grasp tidbits of updates and all I could think was "what the fuck is an Olive Kitteridge" time and time again as this random title took out award after award as I felt awash with misapprehension of my own knowledge, fearing the overwhelming sensation of everything I thought I knew becoming irrelevant. I was detached, too removed and out of touch with pop culture.<br />
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But who cares, because I still have unsolicited, unwarranted and hopefully entertaining opinions about the <i>fashun.</i><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg06uOLlLNIdUsw0nsAw1un8Ipq0kmy5h3lk8krB4x58peooJB00TpoywGlip93ZbJGcwMOnbcsDZl3ydoNm0XgQ_M7-gN-J_FXBQy88xqqmZ6k9WoGjeK44DcQyce17030JwiKv10PHOIE/s1600/claire.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg06uOLlLNIdUsw0nsAw1un8Ipq0kmy5h3lk8krB4x58peooJB00TpoywGlip93ZbJGcwMOnbcsDZl3ydoNm0XgQ_M7-gN-J_FXBQy88xqqmZ6k9WoGjeK44DcQyce17030JwiKv10PHOIE/s320/claire.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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Oh Claire Danes. You are just the literal worst. Your hair in particular makes me feel like <a href="http://41.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mczxud39sS1risuxpo1_1280.jpg">this</a>. I'm done with you.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYFhyphenhyphenOwhfw3BWasm8__4MRqCHmn6XQRs04oRMLBNH5cRUesC8eZw6Q6nCNKSigqJK6bxIYGS6oxlxc4EYOGhv1xTvwvKzhP8WX50Jpk9BI4K1mnzYtZ2-4wvia7dIBypiwyoQNAT41wxAr/s1600/danielle.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYFhyphenhyphenOwhfw3BWasm8__4MRqCHmn6XQRs04oRMLBNH5cRUesC8eZw6Q6nCNKSigqJK6bxIYGS6oxlxc4EYOGhv1xTvwvKzhP8WX50Jpk9BI4K1mnzYtZ2-4wvia7dIBypiwyoQNAT41wxAr/s320/danielle.jpg" width="208" /></a></div>
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YAS Danielle Brooks you SLAY. Twirl that gorgeous gown and keep being fabulous I have nothing bad to say about you ever, other than hurry up and get with Poussey and accept you love her. Just ignore me while I live in my fantastyland that OITNB is real. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiACn503eCljVaSzhrJHlcFQbgwXBfJwOGSoYfBdMUSfdQvL7Txpq1gSXq30fH1vTFo3U1BPvbaXoXLkmdNcdjWxr7o3RDvoXYUOc8K-dHvSpK5NDP7OzcqPOssgbGFnx6_tfd32PheA2vv/s1600/donna.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiACn503eCljVaSzhrJHlcFQbgwXBfJwOGSoYfBdMUSfdQvL7Txpq1gSXq30fH1vTFo3U1BPvbaXoXLkmdNcdjWxr7o3RDvoXYUOc8K-dHvSpK5NDP7OzcqPOssgbGFnx6_tfd32PheA2vv/s320/donna.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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As for this one…I don't get it. I don't get it for Alex, I don't get it for Donna and I just don't get it for Laura Prepon. And I sure as hell am not down with this dress bolero thing. </div>
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YAAAAAAAS GAGA YAAAAAAAAS!!!! You look gorgeous gurl. No shade here, this is flawless from head to toe and I'm so excited to feel it for you once again. I mean, I loved your crazy shit as much as the next lil monster but I'm ready for THIS era of Gaga. *Applause emoji x8500 times*</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghUtAOQdaDSXJ7S0A6qFgCzfvBUbZDM75AC3KIEILYGEyFt3vJN-DPBlILunAb0RinYfJKD7E1kJ3CXnXUd4X_J3m9OazN8-4ztUTQEZ1S60aN9_y_H6c2XQzHEeR13Y4yXyMZQEnY170R/s1600/gwendolyn.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghUtAOQdaDSXJ7S0A6qFgCzfvBUbZDM75AC3KIEILYGEyFt3vJN-DPBlILunAb0RinYfJKD7E1kJ3CXnXUd4X_J3m9OazN8-4ztUTQEZ1S60aN9_y_H6c2XQzHEeR13Y4yXyMZQEnY170R/s320/gwendolyn.jpg" width="208" /></a></div>
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Gwendolyn Christie is Brienne and she is as flawless in Real Life as she is in Reel Life and I'll never say a bad word against her. Not that I have to, because LOOK. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9NY7FLijOlgDI542jpvibx8TihE2sJewxV6TdYyMtXubOklrPH9adjhaBHWBO_MwbXkjcv7C-cp5CAsZfpWi19a17maMvef5vZjQazix99ev78ZcBUg1FIvUV4URDPgjRzXmQ41Y1nysZ/s1600/heidi.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9NY7FLijOlgDI542jpvibx8TihE2sJewxV6TdYyMtXubOklrPH9adjhaBHWBO_MwbXkjcv7C-cp5CAsZfpWi19a17maMvef5vZjQazix99ev78ZcBUg1FIvUV4URDPgjRzXmQ41Y1nysZ/s320/heidi.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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This is not a surprise because I have literally never liked a single damn thing Heidi Klum has ever worn but this has to be one of the worst. It can't be that hard to make someone naturally stunning look even a little bit good. And yet, once again, she proves that it is? On what planet…?</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1YFjuf-4XWgj1VRuC2_IZ10eOYH6pSDjEr3K_XfWXxrlm3TXWPmtUzdwO0zn2AUz-t0ZAaU5US406auk4VQ3_anvz7Es-mcqtF1m37GgGY5Wwp6jpDvlz0653J9cqi6F8D8-4uTML8dhT/s1600/jamie.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1YFjuf-4XWgj1VRuC2_IZ10eOYH6pSDjEr3K_XfWXxrlm3TXWPmtUzdwO0zn2AUz-t0ZAaU5US406auk4VQ3_anvz7Es-mcqtF1m37GgGY5Wwp6jpDvlz0653J9cqi6F8D8-4uTML8dhT/s320/jamie.jpg" width="208" /></a></div>
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And then you have Jamie Lee Curtis working what her mama gave her and being amazing at 56 years old, because why the fuck not. Beautiful.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8ZxKPIoW4BIBkH9PkW4lawBHYyr3ApOu50sZdhqovfUcORZVi-q_JUy5nZWv1MmLmZvXFyLvsomC1XQ8YzWHeNeME2HBIQ16NX4t4RUI4s1B0PPEB6zcyST0alVdt99i4YYC8eW9lso5j/s1600/jane.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8ZxKPIoW4BIBkH9PkW4lawBHYyr3ApOu50sZdhqovfUcORZVi-q_JUy5nZWv1MmLmZvXFyLvsomC1XQ8YzWHeNeME2HBIQ16NX4t4RUI4s1B0PPEB6zcyST0alVdt99i4YYC8eW9lso5j/s320/jane.jpg" width="208" /></a></div>
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Oh. Oh Jane Krakowski. I love you, but no matter how hard you pose you cannot make that dress look good. I'm so worried about how sore your back was after the red carpet.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJbt0b_kvBA5ixbl9HAIYY1gPPZIhwTyfBjJkIRW7aZWZPyRo9hR0khkHV3ikMGJ5LquBaDIR6vtSF8yYf__XWzhm7K1JloY8dJCmTG_J38KHf8sftiFBEUnCzm_hx-qZl5tIRgL3FrmCp/s1600/january.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJbt0b_kvBA5ixbl9HAIYY1gPPZIhwTyfBjJkIRW7aZWZPyRo9hR0khkHV3ikMGJ5LquBaDIR6vtSF8yYf__XWzhm7K1JloY8dJCmTG_J38KHf8sftiFBEUnCzm_hx-qZl5tIRgL3FrmCp/s320/january.jpg" width="208" /></a></div>
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I know what this looks like…I know it's a green pantsuit with a brooch and a weird neckline and yet…I can't hate on January Jones. For the final year of Mad Men at the Emmys, after always being a favourite with <a href="http://www.hawtcelebs.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/january-jones-at-2014-emmy-awards_10.jpg">these shoes</a>, <a href="https://telestrekoza.com/link-gallery/albums/events/Emmy_2009/Red_Carpet/002-January_Jones_61st_Primetime_Emmy_Awards_CD20092009.jpg">this flawlessly crafted bodice</a>, and <a href="http://cdn-img.people.com/emstag/styles/gallery_slide_980/s3/i/2010/specials/emmys/best-dressed/january-jones-435.jpg?itok=2Y3VNa-l">my ultimate favourite Emmys dress of all time</a>, I am glad you went out with a pantsuit and not a flamboyant pink ball gown or something gross and frou-frou like that for the finale of Mad Men.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZ3vpWnWW9zJLhMiSiVSaKSkun5ZuWNp6f3IjlIEINH4lpQhih-hqc7Jy5CaX9PhPlWpY0Q2w5x3DHxZssV5lQnS8kOpm_29C7Q_ASILGyHHshWdpf1i9Bw4wXuuMCa4gn_1uYYsASQr1b/s1600/elisabeth+moss.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZ3vpWnWW9zJLhMiSiVSaKSkun5ZuWNp6f3IjlIEINH4lpQhih-hqc7Jy5CaX9PhPlWpY0Q2w5x3DHxZssV5lQnS8kOpm_29C7Q_ASILGyHHshWdpf1i9Bw4wXuuMCa4gn_1uYYsASQr1b/s320/elisabeth+moss.jpg" width="208" /></a></div>
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Unlike Elisabeth Moss here.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFz3qtHK44IqmgHqgYvHuY52bJN73e_Eue2NjQuNk-rgTuoTK9bzkM5UrME4Dp-vDZZ_KMY8nQ9cWasixxo8fYySIQDC0clM5OE__v1bvLbddFTmqcUgD9D8kTqLdYV5eJHHU-BiH1dYKT/s1600/julianne.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFz3qtHK44IqmgHqgYvHuY52bJN73e_Eue2NjQuNk-rgTuoTK9bzkM5UrME4Dp-vDZZ_KMY8nQ9cWasixxo8fYySIQDC0clM5OE__v1bvLbddFTmqcUgD9D8kTqLdYV5eJHHU-BiH1dYKT/s320/julianne.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
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Luckily, Julianne Hough and her brother Derek here remain the total fucking worst. Is that a figure skating outfit? Who knew I could hate a black outfit so vehemently? Who am I?</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoYqDhZS_M-QG066evocX_pHF4Wn0YZ4IQNA4D9Y12hAssE6_QEiosuu9KRUIM9C8XF4f0B3Nhia3JaGeAigyhf4p59quIvfENe6sY_udPL3jS6PSac6o8yvP02jAY24knkouz9ygZvFTE/s1600/julie.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoYqDhZS_M-QG066evocX_pHF4Wn0YZ4IQNA4D9Y12hAssE6_QEiosuu9KRUIM9C8XF4f0B3Nhia3JaGeAigyhf4p59quIvfENe6sY_udPL3jS6PSac6o8yvP02jAY24knkouz9ygZvFTE/s320/julie.jpg" width="208" /></a></div>
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Julie Bowen on the other hand…! You know what, this is a pretty nothing dress and a totally forgettable Look but I have slammed her so many times I am legitimately overjoyed to give her this Win. Gone are the days of pink taffeta and red velvet as we welcome in a new age of perfectly fitting sleek black gowns. Yippee!</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4zFZLG-bFIr5bexQ0WNWaOlaixXXBiDaVshksiMLwzonX9HBxu2Xl5WU4LezUwaTlAYzdZTzy07RRtvXuLUHzJ_L1kfunZ6RmSMv1cCWgRhuAFFJNn6vvyYz0va9RKhdIkQyDcV2aHZgx/s1600/kiernan.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4zFZLG-bFIr5bexQ0WNWaOlaixXXBiDaVshksiMLwzonX9HBxu2Xl5WU4LezUwaTlAYzdZTzy07RRtvXuLUHzJ_L1kfunZ6RmSMv1cCWgRhuAFFJNn6vvyYz0va9RKhdIkQyDcV2aHZgx/s320/kiernan.jpg" width="208" /></a></div>
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Kiernan Shipka is a flawless goddess who can do no wrong. And these perfectly tailored pants and fun dress are just as flawless. I am so excited to see her all grown up and picking as interesting outfits as her on-screen mum, January Jones. But Kiernan will be even better. I feel it in my bones.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEij6tolDNlQvONiPxtJElvNV3Tap6WQ8ZrTaDPghWQnhiD6wgBz682DNdiSSvSLMlYUqoVOCWisG8ycbXbrbjkIlzGB6X90uz9k8F0YHPXSs74fMTMHkkpS-HAImLRS8EmDXW1QxhO0SqkC/s1600/laverne.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEij6tolDNlQvONiPxtJElvNV3Tap6WQ8ZrTaDPghWQnhiD6wgBz682DNdiSSvSLMlYUqoVOCWisG8ycbXbrbjkIlzGB6X90uz9k8F0YHPXSs74fMTMHkkpS-HAImLRS8EmDXW1QxhO0SqkC/s320/laverne.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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I mean…every.single.detail. The yellow nails, the ring, the clutch, the colour of the gown and those perfectly placed cutouts…I bow at Laverne Cox's feet another day.</div>
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ACTUAL gasps for Lena Headey when I saw this. I fucking hate using the word 'fierce' but I actually don't know any other way to describe Queen Cersei. But Lena is even better. Swoooooon. </div>
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Maggie Gyllenhaal actually has interesting, stunning, beautiful style so I think she's fucking with me. So I will refrain from playing into her little game and commenting on the vile grossness which she has put on her body. I will refrain. </div>
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This…is not great. But I love Liev and Naomi so I'm going to go easy on her fugly, oddly-shaped dress and skip right along. Because favourites. We all have them. </div>
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More OITNB queens! Natasha Lyonne and Yael Stone are serving up copious amounts of attitude and mutual adoration and I am <i>so </i>into it.</div>
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HOLY CRAP IT'S RED! I'm speechless. I got nothing. I am obsessed with this. I can't stop staring at her. If ever an out-of-character transformation deserved a slow clap, I mean, this is it.</div>
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Oh, and here is Samira Wiley, my fantasy girlfriend looking straight-up fucking flawless. Of course. HI SAMIRAPOUSSEY I LOVE YOU, JUST CASUALLY OVER HERE WAITING FOR YOU TO LOVE ME BACK EVEN THOUGH YOU AND LAUREN MORELLI ARE PROBS ONE OF MY ALL-TIME FAVE COUPLES OF ALL TIME BEING ALL <a href="http://images.travelerstoday.com/data/images/full/12350/oitnb-writer-lauren-morelli-dating-show-actress-samira-wiley-after-filing-divorce-from-husband.png?w=600">CUTE</a> AND STUFF BUT I'M STILL KIND OF HOLDING OUT FOR REALLY A FICTIONAL CHARACTER IF WE'RE BEING REAL BUT WHATEVER, NBD. </div>
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Sarah Paulson always *just* upsets me with some kind of cray detail so I'm chalking this one up as a win. Great colour, detail and fit. I would have maybe chosen different makeup but now I'm just being picky. I already gave her the win, let's leave it at that.</div>
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I don't know if I like Sophie Turner's outfit or if I'm just excited she wore pants and there's something weird about the styling of it or if it's all just ugly I'm still not really sure I just can't figure it out I'm really tired and it's hurting my head so I'm just…posting the pic and leaving it. Next.</div>
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Damn this OITNB cast really is massive. Taryn Manning looks like an evil glamourous queen and I'm ok with that. I welcome it in fact.</div>
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Taylor Schilling/Piper is the worst. So is the hem of this gown. Pretty colour on her though and it's a hard one to pull off.</div>
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There are no words for how much I adore Uzo Aduba and the brilliance she brings to Crazy Eyes and the amount of crying I did when I finally watched <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EHHTyuDB3Ec">her acceptance speech</a> in full. So yes, she can wear pink taffeta and I will be happy about it.</div>
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Love this on Viola Davis but not as much as I loved her history-making win and honest, powerful <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSpQfvd_zkE">acceptance speech</a>. </div>
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I am annoyed at the world that I had to search for more than ten minutes for a single image of Tatiana Maslany on the red carpet and yet Julianna Fucking Hough was everywhere. I am annoyed at a world where people don't know how truly amazing an actress she is and how she disappears into the numerous brilliant characters she plays in a single show. Mostly I am annoyed that not enough people watch Orphan Black to know how amazing Tatiana Maslany is. </div>
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HO-LY SHIT. This might go down in history as one of my favourites of ALL DAMN TIME. Kerry Washington dang near blew my head off when I saw her arrive and stomp it out in this amazing ensemble in all her amazing glory. The whole thing is just…I don't even know…yep. I don't have to say anything. Just look.</div>
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And my favourite of the entire day/night. Taraji P. Henson is resplendent in this gown. Nothing could suit an individual more than this gown on Taraji with her ever-present essence of Cookie Lyon. I thought Cookie was my favourite fictional character on TV but actually I am so, so much happier that Taraji P. Henson exists in real life, in this dress, in my lifetime. </div>
aphwantshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16846095215452501499noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8092994699918020032.post-19072718944327565222015-08-17T18:23:00.000+10:002015-08-19T15:51:05.728+10:00Post-Europe non-bluesI'm back bitches.<br />
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I've just spent an amazing four weeks in Europe with my mum, dad and little brother. I have left all of them behind in Greece to continue their holiday as I have had to return back to my Real Life as I have a 'Real Job'. Tough break, I know.</div>
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I will also just take a moment now to apologise to all work-related Facebook friends (and everyone else in general) who have had to endure my constant updates and countless album uploads. I'm not <i>really, truly, genuinely </i>sorry but I bet it sucked to see me calm, happy and totally at peace on postcard-perfect beaches sipping endless cocktails and frappes while you, you know, worked.</div>
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Don't think it was all turquoise crystal-clear water, endless delicious feasts, drop-dead gorgeous waiters providing free wine and dessert (hi Alecko!), marathon shopping expeditions, tear-jerking emotional family reunions and illuminating trips to world-renowned ancient sites though! </div>
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No, no, there was also blistering 40-degree heat in Rome that heightened my competing urges to either go out and explore every single day or hide in the sweet respite of air-conditioning and avoid the light; rude Italians who threw shopping bags at me as if asking for one in English insulted their very existence of bringing reading to the masses; weeping embarrassingly at Warner Brothers Harry Potter Studios as I stood in the hallowed Great Hall and hid from scathing and judgmental English onlookers furiously wiping at my mascara, and of course the most tense, terrifying 40 minutes of my life as my entire family and I were stuck inside a tiny ancient wooden lift in Rome as our collective heart rates raced, our blood pressure skyrocketed, our breathing shortened as we gasped for godforsaken air, and the sweat poured off us in buckets, waiting for an unresponsive emergency crew and being saved only by the goodness of a total stranger in the building. He proceeded to assist us crazies to jump out of the lift (after a mind-numbing 20 minute-ordeal trying to unlatch the door from the wrong side) and fall a floor to our almost-deaths (slight exaggeration, but I still get clammy palms every time I enter a lift a now). </div>
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I am honestly still uncomfortable remembering this event. My knee is shaking and my eye is twitching and I'm struggling to type. It's clearly not funny yet. </div>
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Those were pretty much the only non-amazing parts of the trip though, and I really had to scrounge for them in the interests of balanced story-telling (and maybe trying to avoid making you hate me a little bit inside). I really am grateful though because it was incredible. I would go back and do it all again, even getting back into that damn lift. Meeting my family and swimming in the most gorgeous beaches I've ever seen in my life and drinking consistently top-level frappe and visiting actual places that I've seen in movies has definitely sparked something inside me and I have to go back ASAP. </div>
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But enough about all the fabulous things that happened to me over the past month, I also learned a lot about myself and as holidays often allow us to do, I really streamlined my life. Relax, I'm not being mushy, I'm talking about my cosmetic discoveries and shortcuts. Take note, the below products are, dare I say it, the best things that will ever happen to you. Not an overstatement.</div>
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<b>1. Face - NARS Illuminator in 'Laguna'</b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOamPgvQIGbigpwloLZZO39xDk0qS1xY1KBYf48f4IgY16f0SfOnHCSyvT0dgPMs1ebWbEYcghZrbIQLrr3n-3h9tNDM-wAD8B7UT6ooWmmynrNjTBm4XOa4JWIJfjMs52uizUv_nm1jFr/s1600/nars.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="199" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOamPgvQIGbigpwloLZZO39xDk0qS1xY1KBYf48f4IgY16f0SfOnHCSyvT0dgPMs1ebWbEYcghZrbIQLrr3n-3h9tNDM-wAD8B7UT6ooWmmynrNjTBm4XOa4JWIJfjMs52uizUv_nm1jFr/s320/nars.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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'Laguna' is the bronze-y one on the far right (I have "Orgasm", second from the left too and it's equally as fabulous) and even though I have owned a tube on and off for years, I've never actually used it much before replacing it. What an idiot. I was doing it ALL. WRONG. (I'm pretty good at other stuff though, don't judge me!) </div>
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What I started doing as I started, *gasp*, getting a little inadvertently tanned was trying to match my white, heavily-sunscreened face to the rest of my skin. So I mixed this baby in with my lightweight holiday foundation (Laura Mercier Smooth Finish Flawless Fluide) on the back of my hand before applying, to darken it. </div>
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It worked a dang treat. My whole face had that 'holiday glowy sun-kissed' vibe thing happening even though it was anything but. I've continued to mix it in with my regular, full-coverage, everyday foundation and it is just as great. I have even tricked all my friends into giving me 'glowy holiday' compliments even though underneath I'm as pale as ever. Hah! Suckers!</div>
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<b>2. Lips - Korres Lip Balm</b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7UFFVZhdG23zoPBcv9bk1DYA282ETeQnRyKDnKEhGKTusneXQd7g0KW5LdKfKsvlapEiPGKwbiKx8TZAT6HKU3NfWYa00yq1WvnqyX8tM_yXZEqMwqvoyjxSa9yf6T4PSBF1pDaCcqeNt/s1600/korres.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="163" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7UFFVZhdG23zoPBcv9bk1DYA282ETeQnRyKDnKEhGKTusneXQd7g0KW5LdKfKsvlapEiPGKwbiKx8TZAT6HKU3NfWYa00yq1WvnqyX8tM_yXZEqMwqvoyjxSa9yf6T4PSBF1pDaCcqeNt/s320/korres.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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I've talked about Korres lip butters and lipsticks and everything else Korres related for a shit-tonne long time and I have no intention of stopping now. Apparently in Australia we only have about 3 products of the entire collection because every pharmacy in Greece WAS STOCKED TO THE RAFTERS with every kind of product imaginable and I was in my own personal heaven. The pharmacy literally became my favourite place to visit and it became a routine part of my day to detour towards it and pop in 'for some essentials'. </div>
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These babies are a dream - super smooth and hydrating and gorgeous colours (I bought 3) and really good to wear on the beach. Even my mum converted and bought a couple. I don't actually know if we have them here but try and get your hands on them and smother me with gentle soft kisses once you have applied and felt the effects yourself.</div>
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<b>3. Hair - Bumble and Bumble Hairdresser's Invisible Oil Shampoo, Conditioner and Primer</b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEik4R5ISa4XY-0H-3f6vbMK8pvkmJlhIAvuqX-Z9YI6qkpYNihMQxOFYMRxxwh-LtXVCA5EijLGKqbvU8ccCRy3NsydAYbRF5RoWsCvep_mT1RS2kOuWtuzsNBkGH8XPTo6uJ8vmSAheU_l/s1600/bb+better.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEik4R5ISa4XY-0H-3f6vbMK8pvkmJlhIAvuqX-Z9YI6qkpYNihMQxOFYMRxxwh-LtXVCA5EijLGKqbvU8ccCRy3NsydAYbRF5RoWsCvep_mT1RS2kOuWtuzsNBkGH8XPTo6uJ8vmSAheU_l/s320/bb+better.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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I basically just wanted to talk about these, that's why I wrote the whole post. No lie. About 4 days in the trip I realised my hair was straight-up disgusting. It was stringy, and limp, and it refused to dry properly and basically it was gross. I attributed it to the flying but then I thought "HANG ON I JUST PAID HUNDREDS OF DOLLARS TO HAVE KERATIN APPLIED AND AVOID THIS WHOLE DEBACLE" And so I decided it had to be my dodgy sulfate-free shampoo and conditioner that I was using in order to prolong the bloody Keratin. </div>
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So off I went in search of a better sulfate-free solution (note: this is a difficult and somewhat painful process, so YOU'RE WELCOME that I did it for you) and I found these babies in Sephora. And holy crap, I can't even explain how soft, shiny, and nice-smelling my hair became. This handy little travel pack was cheap as chips and lasted me for the duration of my trip, plus one more wash when I got home. I was able to blow dry it in minutes, straighten it in a few more, and then go on my merry way to visit more hot waiters in greek tavernas. I was, in essence, living the dream.<br />
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On that happy note, I have to get back into it and start work again while somehow finding a way to avoid the lifts without taking the stairs…hmm...</div>
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aphwantshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16846095215452501499noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8092994699918020032.post-45748577410890644672015-02-23T22:49:00.000+11:002015-02-23T22:49:48.429+11:00Dress PornLike I said, I was pleasantly surprised today. It's like Hollywood is finally, <i>finally </i>listening to me about the red and the taffeta and the blush-nude-sparkly gowns and branching out. And at the moment, that's enough for me.<br />
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<b>***Flawless</b><br />
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Talk about a stunning couple. Eddie Redmayne and his gorgeous wife Hannah Bagshawe look amazing, each in custom McQueen. I was so excited for his win, I did legitimately squeal and I'm okay with that. Not sure if my co-workers are, but I've accepted it.</div>
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It seems that Gwyneth is having a pink moment of late, and so far it's fine, but I'd prefer if she switched it up now. This is beautiful, and she is beautiful, but enough pink now Gwynnie (and blue eye shadow…) Okay so it's not <i>quite</i> ***Flawless but she's pretty close. It's just that…she was the first to wear the <a href="http://modatutkusu.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/gwyneth_paltrow_en_tom_ford_6338_north_545x.jpg">cape</a>. I want more of that now.</div>
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I am genuinely heart-achey that Julianne didn't wear Tom Ford for her big Win, but this Chanel is pretty delightful. White and sparkly always looks good with the statue, and it off-sets her incredible creamy complexion to perfection.</div>
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I want to be very clear - MELANIE is the 'best dressed' lady here. Holy COW she looks amazinggggg! I am still struggling to pick up my jaw off the floor. I chose a picture of her and Dakota together though to highlight the differences. Why is she in a red velvet gown with a split, <i>WHY</i>??</div>
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Credit where credit is due - this fits flawlessly and is incredibly flattering and basically I just think Oprah looks gorgeous, the end. Oh and also loved how excited she was to receive her Lego Oscar, Oprah provides me endless joy.</div>
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I did miss Sienna during awards season when she went off to grow up and her baby (which I'm very glad she did, by the way) but it is fabulous to have her back. Sure, it's a black dress, but it's a very interesting one with lots of clever details. I even like the bow. Also…damn she's pretty.</div>
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Solange, presented without comment. Because obviously. SOLANGE.</div>
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<b>The <i>Most</i> ***Flawless</b></div>
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I know a top 4 is a weird number, but whatever, you don't own me. I loooooove this dress and I looooove her hair and makeup and I loooooove Naomi Watts. She is living, walking proof that interesting and non-boring gowns still exist in a sea of blush-nude-sparkly things, time after time. This is beyond beautiful.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhu3E3Iic72WszaYgzau9lQ3hxyvpgg6OiEKUDb1W27YmymmgMPQqH8MbrhyphenhyphenIiI8BWWW__rK4GnT-4alOrHyURegSsYNPHdm6kzCVAHnURTT1tXJp6c-B8rxvvOl9rshErgtlUaRxlmpNQc/s1600/cate.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhu3E3Iic72WszaYgzau9lQ3hxyvpgg6OiEKUDb1W27YmymmgMPQqH8MbrhyphenhyphenIiI8BWWW__rK4GnT-4alOrHyURegSsYNPHdm6kzCVAHnURTT1tXJp6c-B8rxvvOl9rshErgtlUaRxlmpNQc/s1600/cate.jpg" height="320" width="213" /></a></div>
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Again…just a black dress, elevated to perfection though by the one and only Cate Blanchett. Her turquoise Tiffany necklace is stunning and so is she. Take note students of 2015: this is how a returning Queen returns to her kingdom. </div>
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And for that matter, take note from Princess Lupita! The peeaaarrrls, oh the pearls. Does she just get sent all the best dresses? Does she have the best pick of everything? I don't know if she just has the access to the best gowns or if her incredibly curated taste is the sole reason for her success on the red carpet, but she might be my all-time favourite now, along with Cate. Man, 2014 was a good year.</div>
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Collective gasps all-round for Margot Robbie. So, so, so stunning! The gown, the accessories, the lips, the hair, the steeze, it has all come together for a perfect red carpet look. You're doing your country proud lady! Also you threw shade at Ryan Seacrest and for that, you'll always be a legend. Aaaaaand just realised there are three Aussies in my top picks. I guess we just do it better, especially in Hollywood LaLaLand. </div>
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Sigh. Another Awards Season has come to an end. I'm not really sure what to do myself now but I guess I can continue with the 14-episode Law and Order SVU binge I started yesterday while I figure it out.</div>
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aphwantshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16846095215452501499noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8092994699918020032.post-39538874673249732142015-02-23T22:20:00.004+11:002015-02-23T22:20:59.811+11:00Red Carpet, All DayIn an ideal world, it would be red carpet day every day. Alas, it wouldn't be such a treat if it was Christmas every day and it wouldn't be as exciting if it was AWARDS SEASON every day. So I take what I can and I savour every single moment. Every stitch, every awful gown, every fashion Moment, all of it. And it <i>all</i> makes me happy, vapid as it makes me.<br />
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<b>Let's start with the 'Blahs'</b><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicsKB5g_hnvHoRrGj8zxeq_UfDsr2ZwQFyl25xzhga89Sjg2Gfcg15DTgxkcrqQTH8VYeNfKFp_XKK_q9su7Ug3_9YbGaz_mhyphenhyphenL7qMGGl9OV4m0Dw4ilM8rfI5ZxiUtSnnG1vOOiM-9oma/s1600/anna+k.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicsKB5g_hnvHoRrGj8zxeq_UfDsr2ZwQFyl25xzhga89Sjg2Gfcg15DTgxkcrqQTH8VYeNfKFp_XKK_q9su7Ug3_9YbGaz_mhyphenhyphenL7qMGGl9OV4m0Dw4ilM8rfI5ZxiUtSnnG1vOOiM-9oma/s1600/anna+k.jpg" height="320" width="198" /></a></div>
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This very emblematic of an Anna Kendrick dress: boring, and a little 'old'. Which is hard for me, because she is beyond fabulous, on Twitter, in Pitch Perfect, and in life. Just not on the red carpet.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaPjM-qEz5XcHXo8B-ZpYzJRLeenDA1FXInzYi6QzPJh1cy9G4LYmvsLfxG-WUYmPGXQQ7wtJq7Q0TfbCNhDurVz_2lCmUACl7MYPPTiiGYx6edwTGA_N6UwFKZ-QY2gWBfkyuzHZSTdvv/s1600/emma.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaPjM-qEz5XcHXo8B-ZpYzJRLeenDA1FXInzYi6QzPJh1cy9G4LYmvsLfxG-WUYmPGXQQ7wtJq7Q0TfbCNhDurVz_2lCmUACl7MYPPTiiGYx6edwTGA_N6UwFKZ-QY2gWBfkyuzHZSTdvv/s1600/emma.jpg" height="320" width="213" /></a></div>
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For most, this would be a massive success. For Emma Stone…it's beneath her. Especially when she wears things like <a href="http://www.makeuptalk.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/emma-stone1.jpg">this</a>, <a href="http://cdn.glamasia.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/emma-stone-world-uk3.jpg">this</a>, <a href="http://img2.timeinc.net/people/i/2015/red-carpet/globes/news/emma-stone-768.jpg">this</a>, and <a href="http://www.usmagazine.com/uploads/assets/articles/82277-emma-stone-at-sag-awards-2015-wears-sheer-skirt-talks-photobomb/1422234333_emma-stone-zoom.jpg">THIS</a> usually. But it's fine. I guess.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMVzigzfuvonIX4aRMlYpknPYjeH4oAs19RlGWPZqOo2I3-sDAtz_wDtQOBXjUkaoMQeB0mblZyyqT0hcnrbcCX9cOX8ac5jBRAwJwSxNOGYb5AAeLSuY5o7kgvPPNtoIZFfmhohU2Gbzj/s1600/jlo.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMVzigzfuvonIX4aRMlYpknPYjeH4oAs19RlGWPZqOo2I3-sDAtz_wDtQOBXjUkaoMQeB0mblZyyqT0hcnrbcCX9cOX8ac5jBRAwJwSxNOGYb5AAeLSuY5o7kgvPPNtoIZFfmhohU2Gbzj/s1600/jlo.jpg" height="320" width="270" /></a></div>
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A win for JLo, a blergh for 'anyone' else. I'm pretty proud of her for not just wearing something entirely form-fitting though!</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihtQUEBddrzW7zk5kD9Acf_t2UvsZDP4MLCMQr49ij5IIJjzYOF1sR8HfLuyOmG_5e8EIEBFpPKhPUvkdEzaHK7ZdoH35Yw3hHtLtKw9sBA6wnSYxng_2W74bPcv54Y5a4ykMUqg38qYs2/s1600/Marion_Cotillard_2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihtQUEBddrzW7zk5kD9Acf_t2UvsZDP4MLCMQr49ij5IIJjzYOF1sR8HfLuyOmG_5e8EIEBFpPKhPUvkdEzaHK7ZdoH35Yw3hHtLtKw9sBA6wnSYxng_2W74bPcv54Y5a4ykMUqg38qYs2/s1600/Marion_Cotillard_2.jpg" height="320" width="213" /></a></div>
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Sure, it's a diaper bag on her back. But she's Marion Cotillard and she gets a pass because she still made everyone gasp when she stepped out of the limo due to her stunning beauty.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTXO1BmOuqA97X-M7u_34ISUYY9_ZePXn3rtoJTxPK-AJ-B8Ysncs8_9ylXOsaDqyrgVr9sTjLoxrJtrAGzXbM4cwSgyfxMre1JSUBy0_98Lm8rI_81Ks7VfmexsHoaCf78Gf-W7zdfiXf/s1600/meryl.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTXO1BmOuqA97X-M7u_34ISUYY9_ZePXn3rtoJTxPK-AJ-B8Ysncs8_9ylXOsaDqyrgVr9sTjLoxrJtrAGzXbM4cwSgyfxMre1JSUBy0_98Lm8rI_81Ks7VfmexsHoaCf78Gf-W7zdfiXf/s1600/meryl.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
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I like this. She's great. All hail Queen Meryl who can do no damn wrong, even if it isn't exactly mind-blowing.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0tTlMNUlfsZRC04f4EeDBDql0nmeCRShs_JguRlThsMt1_tHRRUx3huFYxgJVqyOyzBLc3y83stZhAUUsfDGbocvYz9THV6Qz6B6QZTguT_He8DBRXF5xnde8sY4osqUYfnGWGusvjbUJ/s1600/patricia.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0tTlMNUlfsZRC04f4EeDBDql0nmeCRShs_JguRlThsMt1_tHRRUx3huFYxgJVqyOyzBLc3y83stZhAUUsfDGbocvYz9THV6Qz6B6QZTguT_He8DBRXF5xnde8sY4osqUYfnGWGusvjbUJ/s1600/patricia.png" height="320" width="211" /></a></div>
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Again, a massive win for Patricia! There's usually <i>some</i>thing a little off about her overall look but I couldn't really fault this. I'm happy for her.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKozlCYcfxgEUQYXQEu9saJvG2YxtDsIKdmVqDwqpD5LGdicqE7Tc74DJzQWFhxjAPOpHXBuLCoL1bUVt0M6ZpU4RK5fyAoo0r7cJt4QQtcdbQFK-GH0mpOYyAN8M8DWQSzso184JceHO4/s1600/reese.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKozlCYcfxgEUQYXQEu9saJvG2YxtDsIKdmVqDwqpD5LGdicqE7Tc74DJzQWFhxjAPOpHXBuLCoL1bUVt0M6ZpU4RK5fyAoo0r7cJt4QQtcdbQFK-GH0mpOYyAN8M8DWQSzso184JceHO4/s1600/reese.jpg" height="320" width="212" /></a></div>
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SO BORING REESE!!! She used to always be my best-dressed when she wore more interesting dresses. I mean, remember this post-divorce <a href="http://www.glamour.com/fashion/blogs/dressed/1129-reese-witherspoon-golden-globes-nina-ricci_fd.jpg">Moment</a>? It made a splash because it was such a departure for her and now she just keeps wearing the same dress, slightly different! Look: <a href="http://www.makeuptalk.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/Reese_Witherspoon_arrives_at_the_83rd_Annual_Academy_Awards-01.jpg">Item #1</a>, <a href="http://cdn04.cdn.justjared.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/witherspoon-oscars/reese-witherspoon-oscars-2013-red-carpet-03.jpg">Item #2</a>, <a href="http://s1.ibtimes.com/sites/www.ibtimes.com/files/styles/v2_article_large/public/2015/01/11/reese-witherspoon-2015-golden-globes.jpg?itok=TehIUFyx">Item #3</a>, <a href="http://www.usmagazine.com/uploads/assets/photo_galleries/red_carpet_galleries/5215-reese-witherspoon-2015-sag-awards/1422240269_reese-witherspoon-zoom.jpg">Item #4</a>. Sorry, are you asleep yet?</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1M5qzdUzgY3lEgRCxW2VRbVOnqiWLjUscXL51eLhcQpHRl3JacS2NuwU318VG8O8sODiJ5jOoe2cDLvZZg4JQ2Ex4Wao5GkbNKjCmALMZ9cEanPE7TePyD6-Uw_3PRfHo1zbNoIFKKGJt/s1600/scarjo.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1M5qzdUzgY3lEgRCxW2VRbVOnqiWLjUscXL51eLhcQpHRl3JacS2NuwU318VG8O8sODiJ5jOoe2cDLvZZg4JQ2Ex4Wao5GkbNKjCmALMZ9cEanPE7TePyD6-Uw_3PRfHo1zbNoIFKKGJt/s1600/scarjo.jpg" height="320" width="210" /></a></div>
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I know there's a neck plate…and I hated this at first…but damn if her body is not out-of-this-world incredible. I think she elevated this dress. Maybe I just like her hair.</div>
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<b>Nah. Unsalvageable.</b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRhFgqDg4Pl7gM_lLssCgrl4SSHeCr7W34gKWVoo8NXGUAX0Az4Ali-w0HLX_K2P3sxwGUn-L23RSuIWLivtbYIUsGZ9Le2ygtCTETPuIimhXlx9dU-VMD-pS76Vihwj8o8SsTd9ecF7W1/s1600/Felicity_Jones_1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRhFgqDg4Pl7gM_lLssCgrl4SSHeCr7W34gKWVoo8NXGUAX0Az4Ali-w0HLX_K2P3sxwGUn-L23RSuIWLivtbYIUsGZ9Le2ygtCTETPuIimhXlx9dU-VMD-pS76Vihwj8o8SsTd9ecF7W1/s1600/Felicity_Jones_1.jpg" height="320" width="213" /></a></div>
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Oh…no. I know it's custom McQueen but this design was just off. Or she was too short for it? I'm not sure but it looks like she's swimming in material and it's swallowing her whole. Got excited when I first saw the top half though and then…nah.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNcDbmQiKWv9zPc6X0P6q6o9nZyhiQCTGGsp6OBi8G57aN86aKnCiZ-dDy_hyphenhyphen9xt79L7VVTHp2TGAB9jJIuOm_Gd0ky5zxA9Jw6tt31vtYPCZoAv9oLvibwahtkIn5dPCVQmwLBKmNF3mg/s1600/jess-chastain.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNcDbmQiKWv9zPc6X0P6q6o9nZyhiQCTGGsp6OBi8G57aN86aKnCiZ-dDy_hyphenhyphen9xt79L7VVTHp2TGAB9jJIuOm_Gd0ky5zxA9Jw6tt31vtYPCZoAv9oLvibwahtkIn5dPCVQmwLBKmNF3mg/s1600/jess-chastain.jpg" height="320" width="218" /></a></div>
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This looks like a gown Princess Diana would have worn. Jessica Chastain is young, and gorgeous and sexy and she's dressed like a middle-aged royal at a charity gala.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNf93N52xo2T_COtk0KcMi7yx8zUXTH7aTd2-EOJIvyqp0ZtZev5Bzg1L5_SqzXl0kCpj0azeyMrh0H0JZDwrbZl7Xp8aLB2p9sLBothsEy8NtFrOQOBC83gH9UoLqH6PykEQw9xRLQNH-/s1600/keira.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNf93N52xo2T_COtk0KcMi7yx8zUXTH7aTd2-EOJIvyqp0ZtZev5Bzg1L5_SqzXl0kCpj0azeyMrh0H0JZDwrbZl7Xp8aLB2p9sLBothsEy8NtFrOQOBC83gH9UoLqH6PykEQw9xRLQNH-/s1600/keira.jpg" height="320" width="213" /></a></div>
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Eurgh. I hate this floral-earthy-cutesy schtick that so many pregnant women stick with. Keira Knightley has flawless style and I am blaming this and her <a href="http://www.usmagazine.com/uploads/assets/articles/81691-keira-knightley-dresses-baby-bump-in-chanel-gown-at-golden-globes-pic/1421022858_keira-knightley-zoom.jpg">Golden Globes gown</a> on hormones because I can't think of what else possessed her.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2peyrqz4grQq6CtEFgJA9aFfpy4CY2I5LypVtKub8JxggatpgXuN_CjsPFtIxmc6tKvscZE6_kEDj2_z7lLkb1UgLZEhpkYufEhpOGHcZ4QggaKUQSva9ZtrsHbQbrY-cnr-PW998QphU/s1600/Nicole_Kidman.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2peyrqz4grQq6CtEFgJA9aFfpy4CY2I5LypVtKub8JxggatpgXuN_CjsPFtIxmc6tKvscZE6_kEDj2_z7lLkb1UgLZEhpkYufEhpOGHcZ4QggaKUQSva9ZtrsHbQbrY-cnr-PW998QphU/s1600/Nicole_Kidman.jpg" height="320" width="213" /></a></div>
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THIS IS JUST BIZARRE. Nicole Kidman is one of my all-time red carpet faves ever ever and I usually froth over her interesting and stunning choices and this is so OFF. The colours together are also downright weird. I'm gobsmacked.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEictyl0CS38883xW7Yf_YYNQopmWpruJb8Bdm_cEff34AOxpI3ojFK0tuuq5yfNQu76l2zz2o6cImxXulaFPPk1Kd4CGTc1k1PyLJkPgt26HWAejSGgn_oeld2y9BRVGn1QOzijxsAl5OeG/s1600/rosamund.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEictyl0CS38883xW7Yf_YYNQopmWpruJb8Bdm_cEff34AOxpI3ojFK0tuuq5yfNQu76l2zz2o6cImxXulaFPPk1Kd4CGTc1k1PyLJkPgt26HWAejSGgn_oeld2y9BRVGn1QOzijxsAl5OeG/s1600/rosamund.jpg" height="320" width="213" /></a></div>
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I love Rosamund and I thought she was incredible in 'Gone Girl' but this looks cheap as f-ck. Red, skintight, lace, split, and strappy heels. Rosamund is better than this gown and you can see this realisation in her face.</div>
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Another disappointment to me. Zoe Saldana is one of the very few who can wear weird, conceptual, interesting gowns and make them look amazing and now she wears spaghetti straps. I can't even.</div>
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Round 3 will be up soon with all my favourites. Be prepared for gushing, otherwise, look away.aphwantshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16846095215452501499noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8092994699918020032.post-76067495574591471552015-02-23T21:45:00.002+11:002015-02-23T21:45:35.061+11:00Just a little more time to say goodbye!As much as it excited me to see the culmination of Awards Season with the Oscars, it also pains me because it means the season is over. And that's like saying goodbye to Christmas. The gown bingeing, the parties, the champagne, snacks and all-round celebrations are my idea of the ultimate festivities.<br />
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I'm not sure if I just had supremely low expectations of this year's Academy Awards due to the lacklustre run leading up to them, but I was presently surprised! I barely raged at the television in our offices at all! Instead, it was more like a quiet, seething eye-roll at the sameyness but mostly it was quiet (hah) excitement.</div>
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First thing's first though! Quick rundown of the big moments for context:</div>
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- TEGAN AND FREAKIN' SARA ATTENDED AND PERFORMED!!! And everything <i>is</i> damn awesome in the world because it happened. I still can't believe it really did happen. So proud of my superstars, can't believe the little band I saw playing by the side of a highway in a nothing-place in country NSW are now Oscar nominee/performers. I may have screeched at the TV. And by that I mean I definitely did.</div>
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- Julianne Moore finally won. Well-deserved and also well-overdue (see: her performance in 'A Single Man' for reference). I was devastated she wasn't wearing Tom Ford for her big Moment though.</div>
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- Neil Patrick Harris was a great host…but he wasn't Amy and Tina. I miss Amy and Tina. Bring back Amy and Tina! Amy and Tina for the Oscars 2016! Honestly what's the point in trying after those two. ALTHOUGH his opening line was flawless, so no shade here, "Tonight we honour the best and whitest…sorry, I mean brightest!"#truth</div>
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- Common and John Legend. I mean…yeah, talk about feels. Not much to say here other than pretty sure everybody had <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=neAcUkzyCeA">chills</a>. Actually, I know they did. Look at the reaction in the crowd…so beautiful.</div>
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- Amazing acceptance speech for 'Glory' too. So eloquent and perfectly <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UNWkMMS3vOY">said</a>.</div>
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- Gaga had the unfortunate task of following this performance but she actually knocked it out of the park. I'm excited to see if she's reinventing herself to be, like, a regular. I think everybody forgot she could sing and I was so happy for her I may have been quietly fist-pumping. (<i>Hate</i> her diamond-shaped engagement ring though, so much).</div>
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- Patricia Arquette's <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A1jOuqhtluU">speech</a> was en pointe. Yeah they are all millionaires but when the Sony Hacks revealed that Jennifer Lawrence was paid less than her male counterparts for Silver Linings Playbook, the film she won an Oscar for, people realised it was fucked up. And now everybody has to listen because Patricia yelled at Hollywood! Such a great moment.</div>
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- OH REALLY ACADEMY? NO JOAN IN THE MEMORIAM SECTION? SHE'S THE ONLY REASON THE RED CARPET IS THE EVENT THAT IT IS TODAY DAMMIT. Just you wait for her punishment.</div>
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Okay enough of my boring opinions, ONTO THE FASHUN, as Joan would have wanted. Stay tuned.</div>
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aphwantshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16846095215452501499noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8092994699918020032.post-19425495517628956552015-01-12T23:21:00.000+11:002015-01-12T23:21:04.650+11:00More golden moments please, more more more!Wheeeeeee onto the good stuff! Amongst the largely boring state of affairs this morning, rays of joy and sunlight broke through the clouds and shone down on the stars, and many other mixed analogies that are less confusing than this one but which generally mean ALL. GOOD. THINGS.<br />
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<b>The Handsome Gentlemen</b><br />
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Chris Pratt, mah main man of 2014 looking DAPPER. AS. FUCK. with his gorgeous wife Anna Faris. These two. Goddamn. I wouldn't even mind being the lame third-wheel hanging out with them, I just want to hang out with them.</div>
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Did not expect to see Colin Firth this year, not sure why, but please note that it resulted in actual squee-ing at my desk. I'm sure I was super fun at work today.<br />
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His acceptance speech for the Cecil B. Demille award was pretty perfect. It was heartwarming, it was funny, it was poignant and I basically just cannot get over that he is married and publicly acknowledges this. I love that Amal is like the equivalent status of a rockstar to him as a rockstar would be to us plebs. She is a badass and they are my favourite celeb couple. DEAL WITH IT.</div>
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Navy seems to be having a moment with gorgeous dapper men on the red carpet at the moment, and I am okay with this if they look as fiiiine as Kit Harrington. </div>
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Legit one of the only pictures I could find of my fave, Mark Ruffalo. Which is a travesty. Because look at him.</div>
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Dreamy, dreamy Matt Bomer WON FOR BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR and I fully endorse this. Not only because of his dreamy blue eyes, but literally everything else about him. Including his very sweet acceptance speech that highlighted Mark Ruff's awesomeness.</div>
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OH HEY JAKEY YOU GET THREE PICTURES FOR BEING THE BEST BOYFRIEND TO ME ANY BOY COULD BE. So funny, so broody, so sweet. How are you everything?! When he teared up during sister Maggie's acceptance speech, I also may have had a little something in my eye. It's been too damn long since I've had Jakey around for regular updates so I'm really excited to have him back as a nominee and with like a billion films to promote. Yay! Swoon! Call me.<br />
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<b>Best Dressed Ladies, in order</b><br />
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Christine Baranski, showing the young 'uns how it's done. Style, elegance and beauty in one gorgeous package. Us mere mortals could only dream of looking this good now, let alone at her age.</div>
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Gwyneth skipped the red carpet this year, but she pretty much always makes my best-dressed list and 2015 is no exception, I see you Gwynnie! It's not a white caped Tom Ford gown, but it's a great Globes dress. And her hair looks fantastic, better than it has in ages. Okay, fine, I've also been dazzled by dat ass.</div>
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A perennial fave, I don't remember the last time Sienna has disappointed me. I weirdly loved this from the second I saw her on-screen. Beautiful.</div>
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It was a CLOSE countdown to #1 but Lupita got allllll my best-dressed praise last year, so today, she is runner up. Holy moly this is stunning though. She looks like an incredible, live, hydrangea. And I mean that in the best, most gushing way possible. I. LOVE. HER.</div>
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Aaaaaaaaand best dressed this year goes to EMMA STONE in the most perfectly tailored jumpsuit known to the human race, and probably puppies too. <i>Wow</i>. It takes balls to wear this outfit and it takes even bigger ones to pull it off. She is faultless. I want her hair. And her skin. And her boyfriend. And to be at the butt of one of Amy and Tina's jokes and take it ever-so-graciously and then seem even cooler than I already was. And then kick back and chill out because I AM WEARING A RAD JUMPSUIT. Winning at life; Emma is doing it.</div>
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<b>Part 3: Tina and Amy win the Globes again</b></div>
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Can we just bring them back forever? Why does their reign have to end? Remember "And now, like a supermodel's vagina, let's all give a warm welcome to Leonardo DiCaprio!" Or, or "I haven't really been following the controversy over 'Zero Dark Thirty', but when it comes to torture, I trust the lady who spent three years married to James Cameron." Oh how we LAUGHED.</div>
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This year was no exception. They even made Robin Wright laugh! Out loud! With her mouth open! But re-live it and see for yourself. It's cool, I'll wait.</div>
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I don't even know where to begin on the Bill Cosby stuff but I'm actually glad they went there. They called him out YEARS ago on Weekend Update and now that they had the bigger platform, good on 'em for going there again. Not gonna lie, I almost wet myself and felt my jaw unhinge and hit the floor simultaneously. Which are both reactions a good opening awards show monologue should entail!</div>
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My favourite beyond favourite perfect quote of the entire evening which I will now leave you with once again is obviously:</div>
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"George Clooney married Amal Alamuddin this year. Amal is a human right's lawyer who worked on the Enron case, an advisor to Kofi Annan on Syria and was appointed to a three-person commission investigating rules of war violations in the Gaza strip [pause] So tonight her <i>husband</i> is getting a lifetime achievement award." The delivery was flawless, and his reaction was priceless. </div>
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Thanks for the laughs Amy and Tina! I will miss you next year, no matter who hosts instead!</div>
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I put my vote forward for Kristen Wiig though. Hollywood Foreign Press Association, you can just have that piece of advice for free. Do with it what you will. </div>
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aphwantshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16846095215452501499noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8092994699918020032.post-24844390997656132282015-01-12T22:14:00.002+11:002015-01-12T22:14:42.517+11:00LESS. FUCKING. RED. ON THE RED CARPET. And other eye-twitch inducing outfits.I just had a few glasses of wine, sorry for getting so shouty so early. You should have heard me in real-time watching the actual red carpet/awards ceremony today. Shit got real.<br />
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Basically…I say this every year…and, unbelievably, Hollywood still is not listening (I know, I really thought my over-inflated sense of ego was more influential than it was) and today the red carpet was a sea of samey red. And samey silver. And underwhelming blahs.<br />
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Basicaly, it was a less-than-dazzling array on display.<br />
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<b>Dresses that had me seeing red (I can't think of a better pun, I'm so tired, shut up, YOU have bags under your eyes! I'm sorry, wait, you're pretty)</b><br />
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No shade, Allison Janney is great. She can wear whatever fucking colour she wants to.</div>
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This is a red ball gown. On a boring Allison Williams. I have nothing else to say here. It is what it is.</div>
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Oh look, more red. CZJ is looking pretty great though. So, that's a thing. </div>
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If you do it like Dame Helen Mirren, fine. If not, GTFO. No exceptions.</div>
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<span style="text-align: left;">Literally my brain is running out of my ears I can't think of anything else to say about these red dresses. Julianna Marguiles is very pretty though, I'm always shocked again by how striking her face is. Just saying.</span></div>
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I refuse to dedicate any further specific thought/attention to Lena Dunham. She's clearly trolling us by wearing the most ill-fitting dresses in the universe so she can continue to do so as is her will. I'm over her schtick.<br />
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This is better than her usual. In that I didn't cringe when I saw it. Well, not for any other reason than it was red. Small victories!!!</div>
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I felt like the sea of red was overwhelming today and it was just like 'oh man ANOTHER one?' and it felt relentless. This sounds dramatic. But when one (me) looks forward to awards show season all year (since the last show) with the utmost anticipation (more than Christmas) and then they're not blown away (pouting at my desk pondering the meaning of life), it's quite a comedown. For a more in-depth analysis of my feelings on the crimson hued gowns of award shows past, read literally any other blog post I've written.</div>
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<b>The sparkly blush nude of 2015</b><br />
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She seems as blah and generic and 'nothing' as Anastasia Steele. So, I guess, good job.</div>
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Ugh, SWOON. What a standout couple. I may be biased due to Pacey Witter hanging off her arm but Diane Kruger never ever disappoints me. She has elevated this hue to something stunning and interesting.</div>
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The SECOND she stepped onto the red carpet (and I glimpsed her lady bits) I mused that she was probably wearing Zuhair Murad. She was. It was not a compliment. </div>
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I wanted to like this more than I did. But I was over feathers in 2013. Also…Ricardo Tisci's association with that Kardashian have tainted him forever in my eyes. She should have stuck to Tom Ford. But let's be real, this stunning redhead can never look bad.</div>
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WHO is Kate Beckinsale sleeping with to keep getting invited to present every year?!?! Seriously, who? Asking for a friend...</div>
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This was even more underwhelming on screen than it is here. I get that she's probably building to a big Oscar moment…but…it's been so long since we've even had a great Reese Witherspoon moment that I am not optimistic (remember the post-divorce canary yellow Nina Ricci?? Or the vintage black Valentino at her first Globes? Or the amazing, amazing vintage Dior gown when she won her Oscar?!). But I <i>am</i> hopeful. Because when she does it well, Reese knocks it out of the park. But maybe let's leave Calvin Klein aside for a while now, it has not served her well.</div>
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<b>The Not-distinctive-enough-to-create-a-new-category-but-should-probably-be-acknowledged-anyway Category</b><br />
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This actually pains me. God, I love her. But why the gloves. Dammit. I feel like maybe my astronomical expectations were slightly too high. Pretending this just didn't happen and you can't convince me otherwise lalalala otherwise it's perfect.</div>
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On the red carpet, Claire said she was wearing 'art'. I didn't see that dress but I did see this blanket one!</div>
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Emily Blunt will always get bonus points from me regardless, but this is a beautiful (if not slightly ordinary) dress anyway. She gets to be married to John Krasinski too. And she is awesome in her own right. EMILY WHEN CAN WE BE FRIENDS ALREADY?</div>
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Amy was going to be torn apart by me for being boring and then I was overcome by gowns of red and silver and magically, Amy Adams was then elevated beyond 'blah'. Which I am happy about because I actually really like her and am looking forward to her own Oscar year as it will be so beyond well-deserved.</div>
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This was actually pretty awful and I naively thought Jen would try harder. The sequins looked cheap, the accessories were dated, her hair look stringy somehow even in an UP-DO, and her shoes are from 2001. I can't even. For somebody so banging, Jennifer Aniston consistently disappoints (but then, she's always had assy style).</div>
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I just…I don't know what to do here. From far away she looks great, but up close, that material is tacky as fuck (i.e. it's a big old mess. i.e. she's a Monet). That face though…and her hair…! I would pay big bucks to buy every strand and follicle of those locks from her scalp and have them for myself. Stunning.<br />
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Naomi has already had a 'Yellow' moment. But this is beautiful. So it's a wash. No points lost.</div>
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TOO PAINFUL, CAN'T TALK. LOVE YOU ALWAYS OLIVIA BUT WHYYYY? I WISH YOU WOULD HAVE JUST LET ME FIX THIS.</div>
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Haha. Hahahahahahaha. Baby brain is funny. Keira boasted about her gown taking 'more than 30 people' from Chanel 'over a week to make this dress' but I barely heard her because I was still laughing at her recycled toilet brush holder 'dress'.</div>
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My clouded, biased judgment of Kate Hudson almost made me overlook this Versace abomination. I inexplicably adore her beyond words but this dress looked trashy. I already know she has an incredible physique, she didn't have to show me like this.</div>
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This is…fine. Julia Louis Dreyfus is always fine, but I'm ready to be wowed by her now. Somebody this fabulous has to have a better gown selection than this.</div>
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Another case of letting my expectations reach stratospheric heights…I don't actually recall ever seeing Rosamund Pike in something I *don't* love in recent times. Seriously. LOVE. And then she turned up in this dress today and then everything I knew to be truth and fact and real in this world was destroyed. I don't even know. </div>
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So that wraps up the 'mehs' - I'm sorry if you're asleep or you didn't make it through that post but you wouldn't even know because you wouldn't have made it this far down so my apology is worthless and yet, here I am, apologising. Stay tuned though - the highlights are still to come!</div>
<b><br /></b>aphwantshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16846095215452501499noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8092994699918020032.post-5318425911518729622014-08-26T23:00:00.000+10:002014-08-27T09:29:05.416+10:00Emmys 2014I'm not gonna lie - I barely heard any of the Emmys itself today. I was at work (shocking, I know, I actually do it sometimes) and missed most of the show, so for once I will keep my opinions to myself and not try and pretend I know what the highlights were.<br />
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Just insert something witty and pithy here and marvel at my well-researched entertainment blog. Go ahead, I'll wait.<br />
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I DO however have opinions on the winners/losers/FASHUN. Well actually regarding the first two categories, I basically just disagree with almost every single award and it makes me a little ragey to think about it again. Pretty much the only one I cheered for was Julia Louis Dreyfus for Veep, and even then I was quietly hoping for Leslie Knope Poehler.<br />
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Whatever.<br />
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Tatiana Maslany wasn't even nominated, Downton Abbey was, The Big Bang Theory and Modern Family still won stuff and it was glaringly evident that the Emmys are still living in about three years ago. So I guess we just wait for them to catch up and look at the dresses. Are you even still reading this?<br />
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It was tough, but I narrowed it down to the worst/best 10.<br />
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<b>Worst</b><br />
In no particular order, these dresses all made me mad. Eugh.<br />
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I'm never really into Alison Williams and this is no exception. Way too much Try. And still boring. Go home, Marnie.</div>
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Just…a total hot mess. The print, the cut, the hair, the belly cupping, cannot get down with any of it. Amanda Peet I never thought you'd make me mad. But here we are.</div>
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RED. TAFFETA. I CAN'T.</div>
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Ugh, again with the belly cupping. Can we all agree this is just gross? I can see you're pregnant, I get it, you'll get a few extra shots in Us Weekly for being with child, you don't have to cup the damn belly. </div>
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OMG. This is actually horrendous. As annoying as she is, Kaley Cuoco is cute and blonde and it shouldn't be this hard to make her look good. I don't even know.</div>
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Hahaha. Hahahahahaha. Totally apt for Kathine Heigl. Hahahaha.</div>
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Now Kerry, don't be pissing me off. Everything you used to do was amazing! What's happening here?! Is that a sparkly disco skirt peaking through your gown?!?!</div>
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I know at this point Lena is doing this on purpose. I am still putting her on my Worst list, even if she orchestrated it this way for her own hipster agenda. You're not actually Sia bitch!</div>
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Again with the red taffeta. And accompanied by a crop top no less. I mean. Sarah Hyland, ladies and homosexual gentlemen. </div>
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UUUUUGHHHHH. This is the best pic I could find that truly illustrated the nature of this dress. This cutesy, ill-fitting disaster of a dress. Zooey, once again, we get it. You are the quirky pretty girl with the baby doll eyelashes but your aesthetic is so forced that it's completely unpalatable. I quit this bitch. Let's cleanse…</div>
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<b>Best</b></div>
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It was a weirdly blah awards show and this was by far the best on offer, but I was actually pleasantly surprised by a few people! Like, super unlikely contenders. Maybe I am maturing or something and opening my mind but seriously…wow. </div>
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MY GIRL! You are looking spectacular Anna Chlumsky and also simultaneously making me feel extremely old. </div>
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No big deal, Christine Baransky just turning it out and showing em all how it's done. This might be the best of the night. I mean damn.</div>
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She's insane and her hair could use some work and it's red, but fuck me if January Jones doesn't always make it onto my best dressed list. There's always interesting details in her outfits and the fit is heavenly and I want those shoes. Yet another win for this crazy babe!</div>
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Wait this might be my other total overall favourite of the night…I'm torn. Definitely the best legs for sure. I am a little shocked quite frankly because I haven't seen Julia looking this fantastic in a long time, sartorially speaking (let's be real, she is stunning always but her outfits are often more than a little cracked out). Yay!</div>
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Look, credit where credit is due. Julie Bowen usually <i>always </i>makes it onto my Worst list but I am big enough to admit that this is straight-up gorgeous. It's an interesting print, great cut, and it's not red or blushnudesparkly. Additionally, her makeup is really flattering and that usually always lets her down! Great job Carol Vessey, you knocked it out of the park (but Team Bonnie forever ngl). Just, seriously, have I mentioned how pleasantly surprised I am? This isn't taffeta!!!</div>
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Kiernan Shipka always and forever belongs on the Best list. How she always nails 'stunning', 'age-appropriate', 'interesting', 'classic' and 'fashion-forward' is beyond me, but this 14 year old is going places and I'm excited to witness it. </div>
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Kristen Wiig is that you?! Once again, someone usually found in something drab or blushnudesparkly looks like an absolute knockout and it pleases me. I knew she had it in her. Honestly, I'm getting choked up.</div>
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I can't find a good enough picture that illustrates why I liked this so much onscreen, but to be honest, it's slim pickings from this year's red carpet so Lucy can stay. Chris we did like this today right?!</div>
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THIS IS HOW YOU DO RED. AND CURVES. I MEAN SHIT. Octavia Spencer is so beautiful and this gown hugs her in all the right places and just…I'm speechless. </div>
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First of all, she was robbed. Second of all, DAAAAAYUMMMMM! Robin wins. Errrrthing. Oh dang. I am breathless and fanning myself I'm not even being dramatic. Bow down bitches.</div>
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Okay, I'm tired and I'm worried I don't know what I like anymore and if we're maybe fighting now, but there it is. The Emmys are over for another year. I love awards shows. </div>
aphwantshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16846095215452501499noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8092994699918020032.post-74499484036234994532014-08-26T21:44:00.002+10:002014-08-26T21:44:58.504+10:00Yonce all in his mouth like liquor...I can't get this damn song out of my head. I don't <i>want </i>to get this damn song out of my head. I want to play Yonce all night and all day and most importantly, I want her to keep playing me. It is just so damn enjoyable.<br />
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Of <i>course </i>she's playing us with these amazing stunts like the 2014 BeyonceMAs but she does it so darn well that I'm happy to go along with it. She trotted out the BIC and I can't throw shade because it was endearing and sweet and all the good things. When she clapped and exclaimed 'Go mommy!' my dusty, cold, cavernous heart burst with joy and adoration and AWW. A few ovaries exploded, I'm sure. Blue Ivy Carter is adorable and I cannot wait until she is President of the Free World.<br />
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I don't even know what to say about Bey's performance of every song from her album that probably hasn't been said on the internet already. I mean DAMN. Why did anyone else even bother to show up?! (To revel in her glory, I guess?) Because nothing would have defeated me more as an artist than seeing Queen B SLAY like that. There are no words. We were just privileged to witness it.<br />
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Unfortunately, the video seems to have disappeared from the internet (did it fall off???) but as if you can even forget. Look at the pretty and remember:<br />
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I CAN'T EVEN.</div>
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And while we're on the topic, I'm happy to share my thoughts in a public forum about what is goin' down with this billion dollars on the elevator. I think it's coming. It's inevitable. The conscious uncoupling will arrive and it will be handled flawlessly and in Bey's own time. She started out as an ingenue she and Jay quickly became equals and it seemed insane to even picture them apart because they are so perfectly matched.</div>
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The time has come where Yonce has outgrown him. He's played his part in her history and now she is more relevant and iconic than ever. It's inescapable. But she'll be fine and she'll let <i>us </i>know when it's happening. I've made peace with it in advance. And besides, they will both be there at BIC's Inauguration (possibly performing).</div>
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<b>Honourable Mention</b></div>
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Haters gonna hate but I feel like more haters are letting it go and getting on board with Miley nowadays, as I've always predicted. Twerking had it's place and time and it achieved everything she wanted, resulting in her award for 'Wrecking Ball'. Miley knows when it's time to grow and how to make statements in diverse and interesting ways and I am so curious to see where this goes. And I think she looks great.</div>
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Bitch, how DARE. </div>
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I don't care if it was meant as a positive homage or what, but Katy Perry is not, and will never be, Britney Spears, or even anywhere in the same realm. Before Yonce decided to take the universe and claim it as her own, the VMAs were Britney's and hers alone. So, so many of it's iconic moments we continue to relive today are due to her performances (snake around her shoulders for 'I'm a Slave 4 U', nude sequinned bodysuit, mackin' on with Madonna, etc.) that for Katy to try and hijack one of them…NO.</div>
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Never forget, Justin. This is where you came from. Britney made you. </div>
<br />aphwantshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16846095215452501499noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8092994699918020032.post-38150203049088414712014-03-03T22:39:00.002+11:002014-03-03T22:46:10.172+11:00Oscars BestAnd just like that, awards season is over for another year.<br />
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Ellen did an amazing job hosting and I'm sort of glad there was no dancing. The tweet that broke the internet, the Liza Minelli drag queen joke and the "if 12 Years a Slave doesn't win best picture, you're all racists" comment were all perfectly en pointe. Well done lady!<br />
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It was a festive, exciting, tense, wonderful day, better than Christmas and my birthday and NYE all rolled together. It should be a public holiday! I bet not everyone is lucky enough to be able to watch at work and let's be honest, is there anything that sounds more fun than an Oscars party? Imagine the drinking games!<br />
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But until then, it's time to wrap up for another year. Thanks for reading, I hope it inspires some healthy discussion about dresses and beauty looks and who deserved to win or not. But ultimately, I hope you agree with me and see that I'm 100% right.<br />
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BRANGELINA!!! The ultimate in celebrity royalty (Jay Z and Beyonce are the Presidents obviously, relax) they came to play and they did not disappoint. Firstly, Angelina is not wearing black (or white, for that matter). It is a beautiful steely grey that offset her complexion to perfection and I can't even hate on the sleeves. She can wear whatever she damn wants and be the most stunning person in the room. And Brad! Brad looks amazing! Whatever he's doing (fillers? botox? WHAT IS IT??) it's working a treat on him! Great hair too! Too many exclamation marks?! My heart is fluttering. This is what Pitt Porn does to me. Congrats on the first Oscar Brad! Loveyouguyscallmeokbye!</div>
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I love how pretty much every time Catherine Martin works on a big production they just give her all of the awards. And quite rightly might I add. 'The Great Gatsby' was a feat of gorgeous fantasy. And I like this dress weirdly a lot. I'm not sure why, but I enjoyed looking at it. So there.</div>
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More collective office gasping for Charlize, let me tell you. I really love her hair and the neckline of this dress and that diamond hanging off her neck…dayum. Has she ever had a dramatic moment in black before? Was this the moment? I enjoyed it.</div>
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Pretty sure not even Kate-haters can hate on this dress (note: I am not one of them, I love her). It just kept getting better and better the more camera panned up and down it! Beautifully fit and structured, ugh and that glowy face! Simply divine. I feel like I'm gushing, am I gushing? I'm probably gushing. </div>
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This one delighted me at first, then I wasn't sure, then I decided I loved it. I think. Wait. Yep, I think I do. Particularly: the sharp shoulders, interesting clutch and cool hair quiff. </div>
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Previously it was in no particular order but now these are my top two. Sandra Bullock in Alexander McQueen is a revelation. She is crazy-beautiful, charming and incredibly sweet and I only ever want the best for her and this dress is The Best. I feel like fist-pumping (I will refrain). Yay Sandy!</div>
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I mean, duh. Lupito Nyong'o wowed us throughout the entire awards season and then she turns up in Prada looking like this. What a win. I'm not sure there's anybody else more universally beloved at the moment and I'm not sure I want there to be. I love watching her - on film, what she wears, how she speaks, everything, everything, everything. She is simply delightful. Special mention must also go to her carefully-thought-out accessories that elevated her entire look - I want a headband like that now and those cuff earrings were badass. Also can we please be best friends Lupita if you're reading this? Your half of the friendship necklace is already in the mail.</div>
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The big winners. Exactly as I predicted. What a great way to end awards season! Actually the only way to top it would be with a Lupita and Jared wedding…let's make it happen team.</div>
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<br />aphwantshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16846095215452501499noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8092994699918020032.post-67638294359858160722014-03-03T22:07:00.000+11:002014-03-03T22:07:27.900+11:00The dudesIt's very easy for the boys to fly under the radar at awards shows with a black tux, decent hair and non-orange foundation and therefore, be successful at looking acceptable.<br />
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So imagine my shock and delight this year when it was the DUDES who turned up in whacky coloured outfits! Shock and delight I tell you! Shock. And. Delight.<br />
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Look, if Bill Murray turns up anywhere it is a good day. Let's just be thankful for his presence and smilye at his little wonky green bow-tie.</div>
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All-round gasps in the office today when handsome Hemsworth appeared let me tell you! Not gonna lie, I didn't even realise his tux was maroon until I started googling images of him hours later. Because I was dazzled by his face. I was not however dazzled enough to not notice his wife's outfit (like another workmate of mine, ahem) which was gross. Why must it <i>belly cup itself? </i>We can see you are pregnant and also very thin. Well done. You didn't need to do this to yourself Elsa Pataky.</div>
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Jared Leto is 42 years old. I repeat, Jared Leto, he of the luscious ombre locks, perfect golden skin and sparkling blue eyes is 42 years old. Jordan Catalano is 42 and has an Oscar. So let's all process that, yeah? I was obviously overjoyed he won (AS I PREDICTED) and thought his speech was incredibly sweet and can now see where he gets his amazing genes from. HOWEVER. I'm not sold on the red tie. It's a little…tacky. Lesbereal he didn't even need a bow-tie, I would have been mesmerised by his eyes/hair if that garish red thing wasn't screaming for my attention.</div>
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I didn't even notice him on the red carpet, was he there?! Did I miss it?? Anyway, Leo looks fine I guess. He will never be as pretty as his 'Romeo and Juliet' days but he is looking better than he has in a while. Well done sir, credit where credit is due. And relax all you crazies, Leo will get his Oscar and he will get it soon. This was not his time, so just chill. It will happen. </div>
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On the other hand, welcome to the <a href="http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/culture/2014/01/the-mcconaissance.html">McConaissance</a>! What a delightful career comeback to witness! Alright alright alright, fight it as you may, it was McConaughey's time. It's more fun to just accept this fact and forget about Leo okay? His speech was pretty loopy but I wouldn't have him any other way. Just keep livin'. </div>
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Michael B. Jordan is a TALENTED BABE and is wearing AWESOME SHOES. I might love him. I think I do love him. Yep, I do. It's love.</div>
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Pharrell is in shorts. So. That happened. And whoever is with him is dressed in that awesome outfit. My love can stretch to these two too. So much love! </div>
<br />aphwantshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16846095215452501499noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8092994699918020032.post-53351590921903453092014-03-03T21:43:00.001+11:002014-03-03T21:43:40.762+11:00Disappointment is worse than angerIt's worse when someone is staring at you with disappointment and it's a shittier feeling to have than just being mad at ugly dresses.<br />
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I'm <i>disappointed </i>with Kerry, J-Law and Cate because I have seen them do so much better and they should be fail-safe happy places for me. For all of us. But especially Cate. I could not even manage to put her on the 'beige blah' list because it hurt too much. I couldn't have a 'worst' list because I might have to put her on it, based on the sheer level of disappointment.<br />
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So I created a new list. For Queen Cate. Who I can't hate on.<br />
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<b>Kerry Washington</b></div>
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So. This is what Kerry Washington wore today. Yep, a rumpled-looking sheet the colour of dirty dishwater held up by a pin. WHILE BELLY CUPPING. Below is the usual kind of standard we can expect from Olivia Pope. Please note how much more interesting and colourful and structured and different she usually looks. Like, I look forward to a red-carpet appearance by Kerry and today she disappointed me to an extent where I felt a pang in my chest where the cold dark void used to be filled with a heart.</div>
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<b>Jennifer Lawrence</b></div>
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Before you jump down my throat, yes, it's largely inoffensive. It fits well, it's a different silhouette to her usual Dior and it's colour. I agree with all of the above positive facts. HOWEVER. I generally hate red on a red carpet. She has also had multiple 'red' moments before. The first one was her best and will never be repeated and she looked like a sexy bombshell. </div>
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ALSO she wore a backwards necklace dangling down her back last year. You can't do that two years in a row. ALSO ALSO her hair (which I love short btw) just made her look old. ALSO ALSO ALSO was she even wearing makeup?! I'm not saying she should be plastered with it because she is so beyond stunning and flawless, but a <i>liiiiittle </i>something to emphasise her eyes wouldn't have gone astray. I miss this J-Law:</div>
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<b>Cate Blanchett</b></div>
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Of course it's not bad. It's just…so far below Cate's usual standard that it truly upsets me. Because if I can't rely on Cate who CAN I rely on in this world?! </div>
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Obviously, it's beige-nude. It's sparkly. And it has netting shoulders. Her face however, continues to take my breath away because, look at her. She is a walking SK-II advert. I'm so sad about this dress though because La Blanchette is usually my best dressed of the night and each of the below outfits are now some of my all-time favourites ever, ever! Let's revisit some of her best.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1aMoF_QpMMhKPG24qjzQT6d8RMqf4ceJeGvIE3T80DRgVcteTLU6fq6KUumRCG4WVl-3WTORXVvSdQKGcRd9Y78ea3sWa0ZDCcYNijqw3U2sJ2f6ILaH7LjmQVGJxid_xAOTtElvWt5aL/s1600/cate+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1aMoF_QpMMhKPG24qjzQT6d8RMqf4ceJeGvIE3T80DRgVcteTLU6fq6KUumRCG4WVl-3WTORXVvSdQKGcRd9Y78ea3sWa0ZDCcYNijqw3U2sJ2f6ILaH7LjmQVGJxid_xAOTtElvWt5aL/s1600/cate+2.jpg" height="241" width="320" /></a></div>
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See Cate?! This is why you should never play safe!!! Argh, she is going to strike me down with an icy stare from afar isn't she?aphwantshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16846095215452501499noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8092994699918020032.post-46555595337577911082014-03-03T20:03:00.001+11:002014-03-03T20:03:22.540+11:00The Dark SideOn the other hand, we now have the dark moody ones (aka those closest to my heart). I feel like if tweaked some of these, they would be outstanding. As they are in their current states though, well, I have thoughts.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVrjxRNclpCRaMUNEuXmnzjK_6FI918wDoWjXAegx1TCeYsS-gE14HQYEW3aXfC2DczizUIsumEUcc09cSO98R3bmxbGdWIr0Q2sKn5ovPUAQgIBIVxOqkerwJF8J0X1tBhafBfw0Ny5bv/s1600/amy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVrjxRNclpCRaMUNEuXmnzjK_6FI918wDoWjXAegx1TCeYsS-gE14HQYEW3aXfC2DczizUIsumEUcc09cSO98R3bmxbGdWIr0Q2sKn5ovPUAQgIBIVxOqkerwJF8J0X1tBhafBfw0Ny5bv/s1600/amy.jpg" height="320" width="200" /></a></div>
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Look clearly this isn't <i>bad, </i>I just feel like it could be <i>better</i>. As discussed at length today, I think her hair should be <i>red </i>(italics are <i>fun </i>and <i>emphatic</i>) because it would really make her features pop. She could also use some jewels I think. Besides, she has already had her navy moment and it was <a href="http://cdn03.cdn.justjared.com/wp-content/uploads/headlines/2011/02/amy-adams-oscars-2011-red-carpet.jpg">good</a>. </div>
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Oh my gorgeous Anna Kendrick are you doing the Angelina leg?!?! What's happening at your midriff??? I enjoyed the back (cannot find pic yet sorry) but…no. Nice hair and makeup though, I appreciate the red lip.</div>
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First and foremost - well done on improving the boob dart situation from last year. I do actually really like this cut and style and the theory of this dress, however I wish the chest area wasn't clad in crystals. I think this would have been so, so, so amazing if it was like, metal or something fuck-off badass like that. You know? You know. Also she seemed to be on the verge of tears while presenting and I want to shake her and say "STOP APOLOGISING FOR YOUR EXISTENCE. YOU ARE VERY TALENTED." One day.</div>
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I weirdly like this. It seems a bit sporty up top but it kind of works considering her role here today? Which is to say, not nominated and not a focus at all. And LOVE her red lip, it makes such a difference. I think I have an issue with the hair though? It looks…messy. And like she doesn't know how to work her extensions. I wish she was still rocking her short hair, it must be a pretty sweet bob by now. Can we be friends Emma? I just want to help because I like you is all.</div>
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Snooze-fest. And maybe a bit witchy? Whatever, are you even still reading this? Look at that face. She is dazzling.</div>
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ARGH. LOVE SO MUCH. Great fit, red lip, beautiful accessories Miss Karen O has nailed this look. I actually get surprised when musicians <i>don't </i>fail at the Oscars. Which is not fair, but history dictates this is often the case. All over this one though. I actually got no shade to throw. </div>
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This looks better from certain angles than others, and at this angle, it is pretty damn good. Oh hai Margot Robbie! I feel like a cherry red lipstick would have elevated this to a whole other level though, as opposed to the very dark plum thing she has happening because it's a bit much. </div>
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Sigh. Olivia Wilde is really working hard to win me over and I think she's done it. I love this black velvet design on her and I <i>really </i>love that she didn't stoop to the dreaded belly-cupping on the red carpet. It's a pet hate of mine and she passed the test with flying colours. Stunning. Also snaps for Jason Sudeikis who is looking so great at the moment. </div>
<br />aphwantshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16846095215452501499noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8092994699918020032.post-83813074886644996702014-03-03T19:37:00.004+11:002014-03-03T19:40:25.248+11:00I know you can be overwhelmed, and you can underwhelmed, but can you ever just be 'whelmed'?I think you can in Europe.<br />
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So I'm choosing to be today, because I'm totally European, duh.<br />
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AS PER USUAL we had an abundance of beige 'meh' FAILURES on the red carpet today. It made me upset and I craved some colour or something dramatic to break it up (look I know it's a bit rich coming from me, but I didn't get dressed today to entertain millions of people, I got dressed to watch the Oscars). I missed Zoe Saldana actually, she never disappoints.<br />
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All in all, 2014 was pretty average on the fashion front. Let's do this.<br />
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UGH. Probably her worst offering in…like…a long fucking time. Was really glad not to actually have her on the red carpet asking inane questions this year though like 'How did you get ready today?' which she asked JLaw last year, to which she replied 'What do you mean?…I showered…and then I got my hair and makeup done…and then I put this on.' So. At least we were spared that. But it honestly looked like Giuliana had white concealer on her lips. It was horrifying. I bet this is Marchesa too. I just looked it up (professionalism!) and it's just a nothing designer. So it may as well be Marchesa.</div>
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I can't lie, I expect nothing from Jennifer Garner. But I'll always be optimistic, just in case. Eh, at least it's pretty gorgeous from the neck up and she's not wearing a dinosaur tail like last year - improvement!</div>
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HAH. I don't care if this is Chanel, Jessica Biel is the wooooorst and this is the worst. How do these people look in the mirror and not even acknowledge they could use some colour on their faces?! She is literally the same shade from top to toe, other than her hair.</div>
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Sidenote: I KNOW THIS IS ALL VERY SAME-Y. STAY WITH ME. YOUR EYES MAY BE GLAZING OVER, BUT WE CAN GET THROUGH IT TOGETHER.</div>
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Another opposite-of-favourite (read: I hate her), Kristen Bell is dressed in an ill-fitting disaster. Props for losing baby weight, blah blah, it's ugly and I want to shake her weird wispy hair out. It looks plastered to her head, and very prom-ish. And just to clarify my very harsh, unbiased feelings on K-Bell - I love Veronica Mars but this real-life person is married to Dax Shephard. 'Nuff said. There's other stuff too but I feel like that is a <i>pretty </i>significant indicator.</div>
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Awe. Pene you are better than this. Also, where is Javier?!?! Still, she is so very, very beautiful that I can forgive her for this boring thing. At least it's not feathered and mermaid-taily. Bright sides! I can see them!</div>
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Sally Hawkins…I just…I can't...this makes me so sad :(</div>
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Unfortunately, this is the best photo I could find of Sarah Paulson at this early stage. Love her, but this was honestly the same from her shoes to her face. She is better than this. And also better as a blonde. But I really like her haircut so that's a good thing! Straws, I am grasping at them.</div>
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Okay WE MADE IT! There are more posts coming but I had to get these basic bitches out of the way first so SORRY if you have melted into a puddle of boredom already, but it's over now.</div>
<br />aphwantshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16846095215452501499noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8092994699918020032.post-13914251169187096532014-03-03T09:07:00.001+11:002014-03-03T09:07:32.339+11:00Oscars Day!It's finally here! Happy Oscars Day!!!<br />
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Clearly my favourite time of the year (why isn't it a National holiday yet?), and following Mardi Gras weekend it might be too much glam to handle, but I can't wait.<br />
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My picks are Lupita for Best Supporting Actress (and Jared Leto's future ex-wife), Jared Leto's luscious locks for Best Supporting Actor, La Blanchett for Best Actress, the McConnaissance for Best Actor and 12 Years a Slave for Best Film, possibly Alfonos Cuaron or Steve McQueen for Best Director.<br />
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If Jennifer Lawrence wins, as much as I love her, I might stab my eyeballs out while wailing loudly at my desk. SO UNIVERSE PLEASE DO NOT ALLOW THAT SHIT TO HAPPEN AT WORK.<br />
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Now all we can do is wait for the dresses! Come back tonight I will be blogging all about it.<br />
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-AU; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /><!--[endif]--></span>aphwantshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16846095215452501499noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8092994699918020032.post-54206679193240448872014-01-14T12:42:00.001+11:002014-01-14T12:50:20.698+11:00The highlights packageAhhh one awards show is already over for the year. It's bittersweet, especially as Amy and Tina did such a magnificent job hosting <i>again, </i>but that's just how the world works and we have to accept it. Awards Season is fleeting, intense and spectacular and I wouldn't have it any other way.<br />
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<b>1. Amy and Tina</b><br />
Pretty much anything associated with one or the other is bound to be good, but the two of them together create true magic. And giggles. My two favourites were:<br />
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"Gravity: It's the story of how George Clooney would rather float away into space and die than spend one more minute with a woman his own age!"<br />
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"And now, like a supermodel's vagina, let's all give a warm welcome to Leonardo Dicaprio!"<br />
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OH AND RANDY!<br />
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And Tina throwing some shade on Taylor Swift made my night. After Amy won, Tina ecstatically hugged her and said "I love you, there's a special place in hell for you!" Swifty of course infamously said of Amy and Tina, "there's a special place in hell for women who don't support other women" after they made a joke about her hooking up with Michael J Fox's son at last year's Golden Globes. Because Swift is the worst. But Tina is the best and so she slammed her.<br />
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Whatever, it's all the best, just watch it.<br />
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<b>2. LESLIE KNOPE FINALLY WINS.</b><br />
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See above video.<br />
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<b>3. JLaw and Nicholas Hoult finally attend something proper together </b><br />
So now I can watch them be like, the hottest couple ever.<br />
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<b>4. Julia Louis Dreyfus snubs Reese Witherspoon </b></div>
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And it's the best.</div>
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<b>5. Elisabeth Moss flips off the stupid Mani Cam</b><br />
TWICE!<br />
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<b>6. Two of my favourite people become one</b><br />
Tina: Amy Poehler is nominated for her work on Parks and Recreation<br />
Amy: I believe Amy is here tonight. Can we get a shot of her?<br />
Tina: She looks fantastic!<br />
Amy: She looks amazing! Wow, radiant! It is hard to believe she's a 42-year old mother of two.<br />
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<b>7. Cate Blanchett. Just everything.</b><br />
Especially when she told Leonardo Dicaprio that she hated Ryan Seacrest right after her interview. Hahahaha. Haha. Love her.<br />
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<b>8. Robert Downey Jr</b><br />
It's the WORST when he isn't at an award's show. I always miss him. I'm glad he was at this one.<br />
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<b>9. Emma Thompson</b><br />
For entertaining us and being Emma Thompson.<br />
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<b>10. Jennifer Lawrence photo-bombing Taylor Swift</b><br />
This would have been better if they didn't then fawn all over each other and gush about their friendship. Instead, I prefer to pretend that right after the photo bomb happened, JLaw crash-tackled Swifty to the ground.<br />
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Aaaaaand I'm out. But don't worry my gorgeous Gossip Lovers, awards season has only just begun. Come back for the Grammy's, SAGs, and whatever other trash in between. Yay!aphwantshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16846095215452501499noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8092994699918020032.post-69198168270304103612014-01-13T22:01:00.000+11:002014-01-13T22:02:34.584+11:00The very best of the 71st Golden Globe AwardsFinally! We are getting to the light at the end of a sometimes bleak and often shit-covered tunnel!<br />
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With no further ado let's get to the good stuff.<br />
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Lupita Lyong'o is so bloody beautiful it's ridiculous. Collective gasps around the office proved this was an immediate favourite (even if it has the essence of Gwyneth's white Tom Ford cape...still good).</div>
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Yaaaaaay Tina recovered <i>beautifully </i>from the flamingo tragedy that will heretofore never be mentioned again!</div>
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HOLY HELL HOW STUNNING IS AMY POEHLER? I mean, I already knew but DAMN she is looking INCREDIBLE. I don't believe there is any language superfluous enough to describe her. </div>
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FIST PUMP ALSO FOR LESLIE KNOPE FINALLY WINNING A GODDAMN AWARD. </div>
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Should I even bother explaining? Flawless Cate remains flawless. Forever. Cate Blanchett wins alllll of the awards. Seriously. Just give her all of them.</div>
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<span id="goog_1057717459"></span><span id="goog_1057717460"></span>Oh hey Margot Robbie you are so my new favourite!!! Really like that she did not pair this with a boring white shoe or something. So, so, so gorgeous and that dress fits her like a glove. <i>And</i> can we please note how effortlessly she recovered from having nothing to read on the teleprompter? Not bad for a rookie.<br />
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<b>Honourable Mention</b><br />
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This bitch. Love everything.</div>
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PHEW. So clothes are done for another year I just have one last post coming up with highlights from the show! Stay tuned and thanks for reading! I just love award season. Swoooon.<br />
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<br />aphwantshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16846095215452501499noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8092994699918020032.post-81937650262912585162014-01-13T21:27:00.000+11:002014-01-13T21:27:01.100+11:00I'm not angry, I'm just disappointedWHICH IS SO MUCH WORSE THAN ANGER BECAUSE I EXPECTED BETTER FROM ALL OF YOU WHAT THE HELL.<br />
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I had to create a whole new list because I couldn't bear to put these ladies on a 'Worst' list. That's how painful this is for me. That's how deep the love is. I just want you all to know this is as hard for me as it is for you to hear. Okay? Let's still be friends afterwards.<br />
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Believe it or not, this is Emma Watson. Emma Watson is usually elegant, tastefully edgy and refreshingly youthful. And today she wore a red jersey half-dress over black pants with blue shoes. What is happening.</div>
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Noooooooo! JLaw!!!!!! I don't even hate the dress, but WHY is she wearing blue eye-shadow, brown lipstick and green earrings?! Who allowed this to happen? How can anyone even make Jennifer Lawrence anything less than perfectly stunning? Is Rachel Zoe still her stylist? I don't get it. My heart hurts.</div>
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Psht. This is largely inoffensive but it's so...blah. I thought Kerry would be a really cool and stylish pregnant starlet a la Cate Blanchett because she is such a risk-taker usually. But this is such a mediocre Balenciaga I can't help but feel robbed. Also...she is belly cupping. Ugh.</div>
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Oh Sandy, Sandy, Sandy. I have no words. But just know that I still love you. And we will forget this ever happened, okay?</div>
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Literally gasped and covered my face with my hands when I first saw her, right Chris? Right. The flamingoes, the fabric, the sad half-up, half-down hair, it's all bad. I can't think of a single thing to save her from this ensemble. OTHER THAN HOW AWESOME SHE IS. So Tina still wins. Phew.</div>
<br />aphwantshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16846095215452501499noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8092994699918020032.post-24934832540364502582014-01-13T21:10:00.000+11:002014-01-13T21:10:52.224+11:00People who make me want to punch myself in the face with excitement<br />
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Which is an improvement, I guess? Solid effort from these guys, with an altogether pleasing after-effect. Like palate cleansers, even!</div>
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Okay, okay hear me out. Elisabeth Moss looked stunning when I first saw her, and I don't think the bottom is enough to detract from how pleased this initially made me. Also she added some more vibrant red lippy which was divine when she won her award and graced the stage. Some eyeliner wouldn't have gone astray though, and better shoes. Just saying.</div>
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Emilia Clarke has barely ever had a mis-step I think. This was really structured and made me smile and I can't hate on Daenarys, lesbereal.</div>
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Jordan Catalano has a Golden Globe!!! How lovely is Jared Leto when he comes to play?? So dapper and pretty and that luscious hair! Oh how I wish he wore it out. Just divine.</div>
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This isn't the best picture of Jessica Chastain's dress, but you can see the detail nicely. This is a good black dress for when you know the evening is not about you, but you still want to look nice. Well done gorgeous Jessica, my gorgeous queen. But just like last year, this hair is not working for me (or you) and also some eye makeup would have enhanced everything so nicely...</div>
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I just really like this picture. HEY GUYS LEMME BE YOUR FRIEND.</div>
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Gorgeous, gorgeous family. Kyra Sedgwick and Kevin Bacon are so bangin' still, and look so in love, I would be devastated if anything happened to this union. Stunning daughter too, but how could she fail with those genes?</div>
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Another ridiculously gorgeous couple. Liev's suit fits impeccably and Naomi is stunning in Tom Ford. Not that she ever gets it wrong anyway. I wish I could find a picture of the back detail too, that neckline extended down the low-cut back of the dress, so pretty.</div>
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Ladies and gents, Nicholas Hoult, aka my #2 (preceded only by my #1 Taylor Kitsch) who also happens to be dating my #2 lady, Jennifer Lawrence (Sara Quin is #1 forever as if you needed to ask). Look at those eyes. Oh my goodness, my stomach is doing somersaults.</div>
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Sort of pains me to admit as I don't really like her but she looks stunning. Super pregnant, super beautiful. Credit where credit is due Olivia Wilde. </div>
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aphwantshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16846095215452501499noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8092994699918020032.post-90417964538505444972014-01-13T20:02:00.001+11:002014-01-13T20:02:17.947+11:00People who had me wanting to punch myself in the face with rageBut before we get down to the dirty glossy gown gossip - Merry Awards Show Season! May we have an abundantly fruitful buffet of Gossip and boozy acceptance speeches in 2014!<br />
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It's definitely my favourite time of year so please join me in dissecting every single second. And my, wasn't there a lot of shit on the red carpet this year? Seriously, on top of the vile trash gowns, the red carpet this morning was literally covered in sewage. Like<i>, actual shit</i>. Which means that all your favourites had to wade through faeces as they made their way inside the venue.<br />
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Stars, they're just like us.<br />
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Anyway onto the show! Below you will find what I thought were the worst offerings on display today and why I felt this way. Or I will present the picture without comment, with a deluge of vitriolic slander or simply some heinous swearing. And you will just have to accept this. Sidenote: this is the most colour we have seen from a red carpet in a while though! My powers, they're working.<br />
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Amber Heard has old lady hair and thinks she is worthy of being at the Globes because she is banging Johnny Depp. But Johnny Depp is a joke now and has dumb hair and ditched the mother of his children to be with this one. Kate Moss, Winona Ryder, Vanessa Paradis, Amber Heard...one of these things is not like the others. Also did I mention that her hair is super ugly and the satin of this dress was super heavy and vile? </div>
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I always hope for so much <i>more </i>from Amy Adams. Genuinely adore her, but I'm sure most girls from my generation remember styling their own hair like this back in the day. For school photos. Or just, like, a Thursday. Also the super long necklace, shades of red, odd fit, and the lack of makeup did nothing to enhance lovely Amy's beauty.</div>
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Ugh. We get it Drew Barrymore you are pregnant and experiencing the miracle of life. Nobody in the history of the world has ever been pregnant before you (other than Natalie Portman obviously). Hate when cool people get lame and try and shove motherhood down the throats of the mommy majority. Also pink and red flowers. Blegh.</div>
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Not that I expected more from Giuliana Rancic, but the consistency of her shit choices somehow continues to surprise me. What even is this. On TV it looked like a poo-red colour. It is a boring ballgown. AND it looked like she had foundation over her lips - I hate this. A subtle pink gloss would have done wonders.</div>
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It may be Tom Ford but Hayden Panettiere did not pull this off. Hate this neckline on her and I hate her hair. But I guess props for trying?</div>
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I can't even...</div>
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JULIE BOWEN WE HAVE TALKED ABOUT TAFFETA BEFORE. IT SHOULD NEVER BE SEEN LET ALONE WORN. Also purple + red? Is it Valentine's Day? Hate the old timey hair too. <i>But </i>I will give her points for great makeup. She often fucks this up but she did look gorgeous today.</div>
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Haha. Hahahahahaha. Kaley Cuoco probs thought she would still be fake-dating Superman at this point, and it all went tits up (due to being a blatantly, awkwardly obvious PR stunt). And now the shit from the red carpet is leaching into her dress and working its way up. Hahaha.</div>
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I guess this is sort of an improvement for Kelly Osbourne but this is just a mediocre re-tread of a dress that has been done to death. Also her hair is still purplegrey and those shoes are gross. No points.</div>
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WHY WITH THE TAFFETA? AND THE YELLOW! I just...what? It is clearly ill-fitting, and therefore unflattering, the colour is obscene and this face Lena Dunham was making all day was ridiculous. This dress actually makes me mad. I quit this bitch. (Jokes! New season of <i>Girls </i>tonight which is actually very exciting)</div>
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See what happens when you start banging Ashton Kutcher? His grossness seeps into your pores and your skin turns to shit and your style flies out the window. This could have been saved because the top is quite good, but overall it's just a big old mess. I had high hopes for you Mila Kunis, but you've been infected by something nasty and it shows.</div>
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I don't know why Paula Patton is ever at these things but she needs to sit the fuck down. Also those dirty ruffles on her shoulder made me laugh. This ain't about you lady so take your filthy sheets and hide under them with your gross husband.</div>
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I'm not biased with regards to Reese Witherspoon. Like, I hate her, and I think her tirade when she got arrested last year was perfectly indicative of the bitch I believe her to be, but I don't <i>like </i>putting her on all my 'Worst' lists lately. I used to love Reese's red carpet steeze. Those days seem to truly be gone now though. Insert sadface here. I'll remember you always, vintage black beaded Valentino...</div>
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This one hurts. I love, love, <i>love </i>Taylor Schilling in 'Orange is the New Black' but this is awful. The worst part was how baggy the front section was whenever she moved. Horrifically unflattering (which...how is this possible, with that body?) and the styling was just as bad. </div>
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<i>Fucking</i> taffeta. You know how I feel about this material (see above). Then again, I feel similarly about Taylor Swift (should never be seen on a red carpet, rigid, stiff, unpleasant to have around, etc.) so maybe they're a match made in heaven. Taffeta and Taylor Swift deserve each other. </div>
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Genuinely do not understand how someone as beautiful as Zooey Deschanel can look so awful. I've really come around to Zooey since watching 'New Girl' so I do want the best for her...but this is not it. Oh, also: nail art can die now, yes?</div>
aphwantshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16846095215452501499noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8092994699918020032.post-25805823894274399252013-10-08T22:53:00.002+11:002013-10-09T18:45:11.404+11:00Stop slut-shaming MileyAnd hop on the bandwagon before you realise you're the only one left. Seriously.<br />
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This is not a girl who is going off the rails. This is not a girl who is spiralling out of control. And most importantly, this is not one fucked up ex-Disney kid. In her own words, "it's a strategic hot mess."<br />
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But before I delve further and start ranting about my favourite topic lately, let's address the slut-shaming. Why, ladies? Because it's mostly you, judging by those I speak to. To be clear right off the bat, Liam Hemsworth, dreamy Australian dreamboat that he is, cheated on Miley. Apparently multiple times. He stepped out on her with January Jones right back in February and there are many, <i>many </i>more rumours and blind items in gossip-land where that came from. Even Hollyscoop knows that if Lainey said it, that shit is <a href="http://www.hollyscoop.com/liam-hemsworth/report-liam-hemsworth-flirts-emma-watson-leaves-january-jones.html">true</a>.<br />
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BUT ANYWAY, Miley likes to party. She is discovering her independence. SHE CUT HER HAIR. Well obviously I guess he HAD to cheat. Please. Trying to put the blame on Miley in this situation is bullshit.<br />
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And while we're talking about slut-shaming, in the time Miley was exclusively dating Liam Hemsworth, Taylor Swift publicly dated Taylor Lautner, Jake Gyllenhaal (how could you Jakey?!), John fucking Mayer, Connor Kennedy and Harry Styles (that one still hurts). And those are just the ones we know about. Clearly, slut-shaming Miley is not actually about her being a slut but simply about aesthetic appeal, or lack thereof, according to the vapid masses (though even if she was banging 100 dudes a day, who gives a shit? Ladies we need to stop slut-shaming!)<br />
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Really though, she wasn't being 'pretty<i>' </i>and sexy and <i>that</i> was the problem. Miley killed Hannah Montana so she's the devil and Taylor Swift apparently spends her free time making jam and continuing to remind you that big bad meanie Kanye West hurt her feelings and can therefore bang as many guys as she wants and still maintain her pristine reputation.<br />
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No, seriously:<br />
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I'd rather hang out with Miley any day of the week. She is funny, strangely unfiltered, and self-aware (as her SNL hosting gig would attest) and she's refreshingly honest for a celebrity. Especially one that has grown up in the public eye and should, by all intents and purposes, be a robot/incarcerated by now.<br />
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<span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: 12px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"></span>If you haven't seen the documentary 'The Movement', hurry up, it's fascinating viewing. It's glaringly obvious that this is somebody who is in control of her career and understands the importance of growing up with your audience in order to have any kind of longevity. Tellingly, her idol is Britney Spears. It was Britney that so successfully did what so many others could not (Christina, Avril, etc). She was one step ahead of her audience but they grew, even 'moved' with her. Miley gets it.<br />
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So it doesn't matter that she keeps you talking by dancing half naked and grinding up on Robin Thicke (who, of course, escaped any criticism after the VMAs despite being a middle-aged married man grinding up on a 20-year old girl, but hey, after the vile misogyny in his "Blurred Lines" vid, I guess I should just accept society is down with Robin Thicke and willing to give him a free pass). It just matters that you're talking about Miley.<br />
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"That's why I never complain about people wanting autographs or pictures. Because if there were a few days where no one asked, I'd probably be like, 'What the fuck's going on? Do people not like me?' I hate the paparazzi - but when they're not sitting there waiting for, you're like 'Who's bigger news? Who are you trying to get a picture of?'"</blockquote>
See? She gets it. Not all celebrities are that candid, but they're all the same and they're all playing the game.<br />
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And FINALLY. She has the talent to back it all up. I think she surprised a lot of people on Saturday night and I think she will continue to do so.<br />
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P.S. Read her <a href="http://www.rollingstone.com/music/news/miley-cyrus-confessions-of-pops-wildest-child-20130924">Rolling Stone interview</a>. Definitely worth ten minutes of your time.aphwantshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16846095215452501499noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8092994699918020032.post-51436849135495044912013-07-08T23:09:00.001+10:002013-07-08T23:19:25.140+10:00How to cope with the abrupt cancellation of your new favourite show<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">So that show that you love, the one
that you watch <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">every week </i>online to
stay super current mere seconds after it first gets broadcast in the US, gets cancelled by those jerks, The Man. Lately, such important artistic works as ‘30 Rock’, ‘The Bitch in Apt 23’ and my personal favourite ‘Good Christian Bitches’ are dead. And yet 'The Big Bang Theory', 'Two and a Half Men' and 'Dancing with the Assholes' continue to prosper. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">It’s a lot to take.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">So how does one process all the
disappointment year after year after year? Why even bother becoming attached to
a new show? Why watch to begin with? Is it better to remain oblivious to the
weird, very specific joy, one feels when one has found one’s new show? Or is it
worth all the pain just to have that blissful discovery of a new season/pilot? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">It <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">is
</i>worth it, it totally is. Sure, there will be anxiety and disappointment
when the series about the Aesthetically Perfect Teens who want to be together
but who might also be siblings and their friends, the Gay Couple made up of one
confused dude and a girl masquerading as a guy at an all-boys boarding school
(R.I.P. ‘Young Americans’ – never forget) gets canned, but hey, a select few will always
cherish those six amazing episodes. Note: this show aired and ended thirteen years ago and it still hurts to talk about. Imagine my pain as I currently struggle with the fact that I discovered and watched 'Good Christian Bitches' two weekends ago and now will only ever have those ten blissful, hilarious episodes in my lifetime.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">It’s just important to know how to cope
with the inevitable demise of awesome batshit insane tv shows and go through
the 5 important stages of grieving.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">1 1.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Shock:
it’s hard to believe that not everybody appreciates the genius that you so
clearly see. Don’t doubt yourself – it’s definitely them, your show is rad.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> 2. </span> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Sadness:
it’s okay to be sad. You should mourn what you had. The next little bit will
feel bad.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">3 </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"> 3.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Anger:
THOSE DICKS! HOW DARE THEY TAKE YOUR HAPPINESS AWAY. NOW WHAT WILL YOU DO ON A
SATURDAY NIGHT WHEN YOU LIE TO YOUR FRIENDS ABOUT WHY YOU CAN'T GO OUT JUST SO YOU CAN STAY IN BED WATCHING TV IN YOUR PAJAMAS? (I never do this. I love you guys. I just get really unexpectedly busy sometimes so I absolutely, positively <i>have </i>to cancel on you).<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"> 4.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">More
extreme sadness: you’ve realized just how much you’re going to be missing and
at this point, it’s perfectly acceptable to cry. Also, watch the entire series
chronologically from the beginning. This helps.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"> 5.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Oh,
freakin’ sweet, Mindy Kaling got her own show? It's already been renewed for a new season? Cool.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> At least we won't have to worry about Game of Thrones for a while...</span></div>
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<!--EndFragment-->aphwantshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16846095215452501499noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8092994699918020032.post-39841518392091702262013-06-05T23:34:00.002+10:002013-06-05T23:34:42.144+10:00The BrangeBrangelina is back from hibernation!!!! And I, for one, am thrilled. I have always been, and always will be, Team Jolie. I will choose the philanthropic, intelligent, talented UN ambassador over the pothead party girl who stars in Gerard Butler movies any day of the week. Just saying.<br />
<br />
But I loved 'The Switch', I'm only human.<br />
<br />
Anyway.<br />
<br />
Angelina is back in the public eye after penning a moving piece about her double mastectomy in the <i>New York Times </i>(if you haven't read it yet, you should definitely take the time to do so <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2013/05/14/opinion/my-medical-choice.html?_r=0">http://www.nytimes.com/2013/05/14/opinion/my-medical-choice.html?_r=0</a>). And she is positively radiant. I think I actually missed seeing her and Brad around. They have been keeping their shit on the down low since her infamous Leg Incident at the Oscars last year.<br />
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To reiterate - since receiving months of treatment and a preventative double mastectomy, Brangelina has managed to keep their privacy (side-eye to Jessica Alba once again being papped in a park whoring out her kids...). This is on the same level as Sandra Bullock keeping her baby's adoption under wraps when she was under the most intense public scrutiny of her career i.e. a very public, very dramatic divorce. If these two can fly under the radar when they need to, you can bet your ass that the Albas and the Biels and the Bosworths and the Livelys of this world could avoid the paps if they wanted to, yet still happen to find themselves photographed on a romantic trip in the middle of Nowheresville, Utah (ahem, Blake and Ryan). If they <i>really</i> valued their privacy, they could make it happen is what I'm saying. You know, as opposed to using the paps to keep themselves relevant and then bitch about wanting to maintain their privacy to the tabloids. I mean. Fuck the fuck off.<br />
<br />
But I digress. PITT PORN! I really just want to use this particular post to gush over all the new pics of them. Angie is looking better than she has in aaaaaages and call me crazy, but I'm sort of enjoying how they're matching looks/outfits on this 'World War Z' press tour. Let's take a peek, shall we?<br />
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<b>Appearance #1</b><br />
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Probably my least favourite aesthetically speaking, but ahhhhhhh how cute and affectionate are they! Their hair is equally flowy and bouncy! And not to rub salt in anyone's wounds, but for all the "she stole him! She's an adulteress bitch!"drama, they've now been together longer than Jen and Brad were... Also, you can't steal another human being. They have to leave. Also <i>also</i>, why does she cop all the blame in this scenario? Brad was the one who was married and committed to another person, yet he seems to still be beloved by the same majority who would be happy to see Angie torn to shreds by a pack of coyotes. Sexism is still alive and well in the 21st century folks, in case anyone was still wondering about that little -ism. Phew.<br />
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Rant over, back to the pic porn!<br />
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<b>Appearance #2</b><br />
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Aaaaaaaarghhhhh! LOVE this! When is the last time she looked so stylin'? Look at the perfect cut of that Saint Laurent suit! I am salivating right now. She's incredible. Am I crazy for enjoying the fact that they have matching hair/looks here? Who am I? I hate when couples are matchy-matchy. But I just can't throw any shade here. Obsessed. I want her to dress like this always. <b><i>ALWAYS.</i></b><br />
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<b>Appearance #3</b><br />
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Ok, it's not the best dress, but who cares. That face still makes me catch my breath sometimes. And at least the outfit fits properly - I think her main problem is wearing stuff that fits her teeny frame. So far, successes all-round! Happy claps!</div>
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Basically, I need Brange in the world to feel at ease. It makes me happy to watch them, when they want me to. This has been a brilliantly executed campaign trail for 'World War Z' and I know I, for one, will watch it for them. To say thank you. For the Pitt Porn. </div>
aphwantshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16846095215452501499noreply@blogger.com0