Dress porn, Dudes In Suits porn

Finally, some refreshingly gorgeous dresses during a very dull awards season. I'm not going to lie, some of these ladies shocked me. I did not anticipate that a lot of them would make my Best Dressed list. In fact, I was ready to harpoon them and laud many others that ended up being disasters. The world truly is full of surprises.

You had me at 'not nude/blush, taffeta or ill-fitting fishtail gown'

Duh. Always stunning, always flawless, always in a dress that is totally flattering on her gorgeous frame. And damn, that face. I was totally breathless watching her perform. She is totally enchanting and  it is a pleasure being under Adele's spell. Can we be best friends? Me, J-Law and Adele would be the bestest of best friends. 

I guess this isn't everyone's cup of tea but how can you deny that face?? I love that her hair is still short (it was for 'Mad Max'), I love how simple her makeup is and I love the perfect construction and fit of this gown. Only Charlize.

I am truly in shock. So often do I shit on Giuliana Rancic, that this feels foreign. I can't believe what a difference a great haircut can make! Farewell to the days of stringy balayage-ridden extensions and hello to a softly tousled glossy brunette bob. Wow.

Can this stunning lady do no wrong?! It took me a quick second but then I was all over it. She has such a way of wearing a gown. It has a belt! It's white! And yet...I am fawning at her feet. Go figure.

This little badass won the Oscars just purely by having the best time amirite?? Can't wait to see her be adorable as Annie.

Memo to Melissa McCarthy: take note. This is how you do.

Queen Meryl is incredible. It's a familiar silhouette on her and yet it's still one of the most interesting and different dresses that I saw today. Love the shoulder detail. And the Miranda Priestly hair. And the fact that she and Daniel Day Lewis are each other's professional equal. Young asshole Hollywood folk please pay attention - it takes humility, talent, hard work, grace and respect for people to get to this level. And confident self-awareness to look this damn good.

Not only did I not see Stacy Keibler being on my BEST DRESSED LIST but I didn't even seeing her making it to a second Oscars!!! The girl has done what no other has done before. Props were props are due. That being said, I still want George Clooney to know that he doesn't need a half-rate nobody to win Oscars. He is actually more charming and endearing when he is alone at these things.

Am I crazy? Why do I like this? Is it just because she's so damn banging at her age? Is it the colour? The fit and structure of the dress? I don't know. All of the above.

Second best of the night has to be Jessica Chastain. Are you yelling at me about the blush-like colour of the gown? Go ahead, it looked bronze on-screen and apparently in person also. It's intricate, it fits her beautifully and her hair and makeup is ridiculously perfect. Sometimes Jessica doesn't get it quite right (the Golden Globes fiasco still makes me shudder) but when she does, the result is angelic. Not as PHWOAR as her look last year (the year before? I dunno), but I feel that much amazingness can never again be replicated. Let's revisit...

Aaaaaand #1 is of course Naomi Watts. Obviously.

I mean right?! I don't know what other words to use that aren't superfluous and hyperbolic but it is incredibly striking on her. Naomi has NEVER done me wrong (amazing record) but she still manages to surprise and delight me. Every detail is working for her. Beauty-wise and accessories-wise, she totally nailed it. Loooooove. (Also, just me, or is it a bit reminiscent of the one-shoulder Chanel gown Cameron Diaz wore that Rachel Zoe thought was too 'weird' for the Oscars and that nobody would get it so she had the sleeve altered? So glad Naomi kept it).

GUYS IN SUITS

I'm not actually a huge fan of the rumpled, slightly-too-large suit and the unfortunate Hangover hair that Bradley is sporting here, but I really do like him. It's always nice to glimpse him on camera, with those baby blues. It wasn't not your year love but hold out, it'll happen.

God, as much as I wanted Hugh to win, I can't hate on Daniel Day Lewis. How can you hate on DDL?  He is wearing a perfectly tailored navy tux. He is charm and charisma personified. If he could bottle his stage presence... Also adore his lovely wife Rebecca. She seems fun.

Aside from the irritating belly stroking on the red carpet, these two are damn cute. I sort of like that Channing Tatum is a devoted husband and future baby-daddy. It makes him hotter. Is that weird? Or is it totally normal because he seems so genuinely lovely and not an asshole and yet he looks like that how is this man possible?

BOOM. Eddie Redmayne wearing the shit out of his tux and showing his peers how it's done. He has owned every awards show this season, best dressed dude of 2013, hands down. Even when vomming his guts out at the SAGs due to a virus. Still stylin'.

Awwwww. I really thought it was Hugh's year. He's always so dapper and sweet and apparently the nicest guy in Hollywood. How can you not be rooting for the nicest guy in Hollywood to win?! Great performance too, but then, he's always great. This man is a triple-threat and he will get his Oscar some day. It might take a little while, but look at Colin Firth. It'll happen eventually.

Best couple, best Oscars campaign, best awards season campaign, best everything. Ben Affleck did not let the Best Director snub get him down. He kept slogging it out with weekly trips to the Farmer's Market with his kids, romantic paparazzi-shot trips to Paris with his wholesome gorgeous wife, and remained humble and gracious with every award he received in the lead-up to the Oscars. And THEN he posed WITH JENNIFER GARNER on the red carpet at the press wall TOGETHER for the first time. It all paid off Afflecks! Enjoy the victory!

Also this happened. Apparently they were entertaining everyone backstage with their standup routine. I wish they'd hosted instead of Seth McFarlane.

Until next year folks! Let's see how long it takes Adele to achieve the incredibly rare and prestigious EGOT (Emmy, Grammy, Oscar, Tony). She's only 24 and she's halfway there.