a little insight perhaps

Tonight I got something I have been wanting for a very long time. I received Tegan and Sara's new album 'Sainthood', and the three books that accompany it. I expected this package at least 8 days after this day. This made me happy. Opening the package made me happy. Quickly flicking through the pages of each book made me happy. Seeing documentation of the Sydney show I attended made me happy.

For those of you who know me personally, I am a histrionic, slightly dramatic, obsessive personality. I know this. And I know often it seems (and is) superficial and slightly exaggerated. But there are times, usually at concerts, when I feel the full extent of my obsession; and I won't lie, it feels amazing.

Tonight I listened to 'Sainthood' through for the first time lying on my bed in a t-shirt and knee-high socks. For the songs I didn't know, I lay back and closed my eyes and listened to them from start to finish. For the six I knew (that I did not download - I watched live performances of them on youtube) I finally got to scream along to them with the right lyrics. They sounded much better than their slightly inferior youtube recordings. I also realised, about halfway through the first listen, that this was the first time EVER that I had listened to a Tegan and Sara album for the first time after purchasing a newly released cd.

I downloaded their first four albums in 2004 when someone told me they were great. They were. I downloaded a leaked copy of 'The Con' before I bought it, justifying it by telling myself I wanted to know the songs beforehand, so I would enjoy it more when I had the cd. I actually abstained from streaming 'Sainthood' and I'm so glad I did. I also became quite emotional tonight. I don't actually know why, but reading through the first book and listening to the album made me cry. Sara is pretty, they are funny, and endearingly sweet in print as well as in person. Again, I don't know why this made me cry.

Unfortunately, the last two books are going to have to wait. I have a research proposal to write. I hate myself for it, but I have left the books on my bed for another time. I just would not enjoy them while anxiously thinking of this proposal in the back of my mind. So I have something to look forward to - for the first time in a while, truly.

As a final note, last week I read 'Juliet, Naked' by Nick Hornby. It is not a porno. It is not even dirty at all. It is about a middle-aged man who has been obsessed with a reclusive rocker for over fifteen years. It is probably an enjoyable, interesting book for whoever reads it. But I believe that unless you too are an obsessive, perhaps you will not be able to truly appreciate the depth and meaning of this book. This is going to be super crazy long, but I want to leave you with a quote from the book. Again, it is long. It is not necessarily my feelings pertaining to Tegan and Sara. But it sums up one of the many factors of obsession that I experience.

Duncan to his hero, the reclusive Tucker Crowe:
"well, you asked us to listen. And some of listened a little too hard... I'm not the only person who thinks you're a genius. And while you might think we're...we're inadequate as people, we're not necessarily the worst judges in the world. We read, and watch movies, and think... I still haven't peeled it all away, I don't think, even after all this time. I don't pretend to understand what those songs mean to you, but it's the forms of expressions you chose, the allusions, the musical references. That's what makes it art. To my mind. And...sorry, sorry, one last thing. I don't think people with talent necessarily value it, because it all comes so easily to them, and we never value things that come easy to us. But I value what you did on that album more highly than anything else I've heard. So thank you."

sorrows. beer. drowning.

I wish my life was dope, guns, fucking in the streets.

I wish I had more money so that I could drown my sorrows in shopping as opposed to beer (beer does not help with essay writing process - only vodka does - nor does it help with the calorie counting). If I had lots of money...oh man. I would be so happy. That sounds soooo superficial and lame but I ain't gonna lie. IT CAN BUY HAPPINESS. IT CAN IT CAN IT CAN. Anyone who says it can't hasn't seen these babies.


YSL


Alexander McQueen


Givenchy


Chanel


Alexander Wang bag, as toted by MK.

And some more affordable options for 21st presents...

Chanel jade green nailpolish


Books to contribute to my shelves looking like this.


Particularly pretty ones that look like this.


An Hermes scarf. C'mon guys, a few of you can pitch in. And a few more of you can pitch in for this:


Chanel 2.55 black quilted leather handbag. I know I said I'd buy it for myself at the peak of my life (i.e. it WOULD be the peak of my life) but I heart shortcuts (lazy), I heart presents (greedy), and I heart you! So I'm willing to make the concession.

Oh, also taking money contributions so I can do the hard manual labour of going and buying that stuff myself. Thanks x

i want to stink pretty

Kind of obsessing over perfumes lately. It's a dangerous one this one because it could be a very expensive obsession. Obsessing over RPattz* and Rihanna is ok because the internet is abundant with rich sources of information that I voraciously ingest (though, ok, the magazines do add up $$$). But perfume...sigh. And there's no substitute for it. Like, if I can't ACTUALLY make out with RPattz, I will watch Twilight. Got my fix.

Anyways. I want these. So I smell nice for all those around me. It's an altruistic act, really. Not necessarily in order of preference, but I did save my ultimate for last.

Hypnose by Lancome


Bvlgari Rose Essentielle. Me and mum share a bottle (the only reason I bought it for her) but it is running low. And I want my own.


Stella McCartney in Two Peony. Again, bought it for mum. But it too is running low and I want a new bottle.


Stella McCartney. I think this was the first bottle I ever got that wasn't a present. It is running dangerously low. I fucking love it. Stella M. can do no wrong when it comes to perfume. Love.


Chloe. Always forget how much I love it til I smell it again.


REALLY, SERIOUSLY WANT THIS. I have a 30mL bottle that is about 1/3 depleted. I am too scared to use it because the bottle is so little. Jo Malone Lotus Blossom and Water Lily is amazingly more-ish. I wish I could breathe it in constantly.


*Note. I also want the Twilight jibes to die. I get that it's really cool to bag on Twilight, and if it wasn't for my hardcore Robert Pattinson love affair, I would be too. But plz let it end. People bag it everywhere, all the time, and it's not funny anymore. Ever. At all. Also, it's not clever. It's too easy to poke fun at. So just stop. Thx.

retail therapy

So today I got an essay back (the one I wrote on Rihanna and Douche Bag) and I got 74%. Yes, I have been going on about it a bit. I just want a DISTINCTION dammit. So close! I'd rather have a 70. Kind of. Maybe. Anyways to get over this little disappointment (I'm sorry Rihanna, I didn't do your fierceness justice), I indulged in a little retail therapy. I guess it helped but I didn't really get to enjoy it due to my mad rush (need to pack for Wagga, read through my sociology of terror sources, dry and straighten hair, etc).

Well, except this purchase. I enjoyed this simply because I waited so fucking long for the money to enter my PayPal account. BECAUSE I had to wait so long, the purchase of my Tegan and Sara album pre-order that comes with their 3 new books, was especially sweet.


Also bought stupidly cheap undies (that's what my bum looks like in them too. I swearz. I liez. Add that to my want list.)


finally went and picked up my True Blood dvds. Can't even watch them though as I have all the above activities to panic through. No time to chillax.


$44.45 worth of magazines. Okay, this bundle made me feel good too. Yay. Don't judge me though, this is all for the 7 hour train ride on Sunday. I refrained from buying even one magazine ALL WEEK for this reason. It was so tough.


Lastly, I want more of this. I have a sneaking suspicion that I'm going to need more retail therapy in the near future and that doesn't work if I don't have any of THIS.


Fucking sigh. Oh well at least I have my T+S bundle to look forward to. I never get mail let alone packages!!!

coincidence? I think not

I mean, I don't know what it would be other than a coincidence but it is really weird. I haven't even started talking about what I wanted to talk about. Am I high? No. I'm getting to my point.

You know like, when you read a book, or watch some snippet of a something or other or SOME SORT OF INFO gets into your head from an outside source that you previously had not heard of/taken any notice of/did not know? And then AFTER you have become aware of it, like on the very same day, you come across something else totally familiar to you that references that thing you didn't know about earlier in the day? And it seems freaky and crazy and all of a sudden it's everywhere?

Well that happened to me today. And I just wanted to talk about it. Coz I wonder if it happens to anyone else. Yesterday I read "The Princess Diaries: Seventh Heaven" (i.e. the seventh installment) and there was a part when one of the dudes (J.P.) wanted to meet this crazy cool film director, David Mamet. I do not know who David Mamet is, nor did I have any intention of finding out. He didn't even pique my interest. And then today after a loooong absence of new Tegan and Sara vids in my life, I watched their recent show at Rifflandia on youtube

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ohD2-92riU

And Sara talked about David Mamet. I love when this happens. This probably is not even interesting to anyone but me. BUT DO YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN WHEN THAT THING HAPPENS?

tea and sympathy

I fear I may have fractured/broken my ankle. I fell alone in the yard in one of the ditches my dog dug. I somehow landed on said ankle twice. It bent one way, then another. I feel it is also important to note that I have a very, very weak ankle on account of having twisted/sprained it like 11 times over the course of my life. Anyway. I gripped the washing basket for a while before finding the strength to get up. My dog licked me a few times. It did not help.

I called my mother 20 minutes later after I had hobbled inside and she asked "what the hell is wrong" with me (I had a sore wrist earlier this week) and told me to find my old ankle guard, or just deal with it. I had this ankle guard when I was like 11 and obv. am having difficulty finding it now.

A little sympathy, some rustled up painkillers, and a method of compression for my throbbing ankle would not go astray right about now. Thank God I am going to see Arion this afternoon (cousin's baby) who will at least soothe any ill feelings I have towards the cold heartless people around me, if not the physical manifestion of pain in my right foot. I will be smiling and playing soon!