Oscars 2012: Dress Porn

There was no Cate Blanchett in Givenchy couture, but there were still a few hot babes at yesterday's Academy Awards. Props to everybody (most people) though for largely putting blush nude sparklies on the back burner. There was just so much colour! On some surprising people too! Kinda loved it. Note: I am indeed a hypocrite. I, myself, am never in colour and would probably choose a rad black outfit...but whatever. SO SUE ME. It's not like bloggers serve as the moral ethical compass of the universe. However, even Rooney Mara wasn't in black last night! There's hope for everybody! Even me.

And nowwwwww onto the dress porn!

I know, it IS reminiscent of Nicole's Balenciaga a few years ago, but I like Emma's better. I generally just like Emma better. She looks absolutely gorgeous and the bottom of the dress is a lot nicer than Nicole's was. I am just all over it. The fuchsia with the red hair is such a great combination. And what a face. If only she had Andrew Garfield on her arm...what a winning accessory that would've been. Sigh.

This isn't one of the better pics of Maya Rudolph's dress, but it did illustrate the back perfectly. It's a beautiful colour on her, fits well, drapes nicely, and the embellishment is just glamorous enough. Also, her hair and face. Whatta beauty.

I am not 'The Help's biggest fan, but even I had to acknowledge that this was Octavia Spencer's night. Holy crap, she looked amaze-balls. The draping and beading could not have been more beautiful or more flattering on her teeny little waist. This gown fits her like a glove, and she is owning it like.a.boss. She also went and kissed Jessica Chastain (co-star, nominee in same category) when she won so she is obviously gracious and thoughtful. There is nothing bad to say about this woman. She is faultless.

This physically pains me. I put Tina Fey on another Worst list and Rooney on my Best list. I hate myself. But even I cannot deny that this white creation is totally beautiful. I love it. I like seeing her in white, I like the boob bit, the red lipstick...it all works (bit sick of her blunt fringe though - we get it, you're 'edgy'). I would get married in this dress.

MICHELLE. IN COLOUR. She hasn't been in a colour this bold since her Vera Wang showstopper at the Oscars in 2006 (which will always, always go down in history as one of my all-time favourites, ever). It's not the most perfect dress, but it's pretty and it's RED and her hair is great. Total winner. Love seeing Michelle smiling and giddy and in colour. Happy claps!

Rose Byrne, you saucy little minx you. Where did all this chic sexiness come from? From the fab white jumpsuit at the Globes, to this glittery confection, I am all over it. I really particularly like the bottom of the dress, how it sort of nips in at the ankles as opposed to mermaid-ing out. Flawless styling. By the way: APPARENTLY this is actually midnight blue...I don't see it, but if it is, EVEN BETTER. But it doesn't translate.

Well, it's not all about the dress porn I guess. Christopher Plummer rocked a blue velvet tux and I DIE. Look at him! He is the king! He was a lock for Best Supporting Actor and I still jumped like a maniac when they announced his name. Dude is 82 years old, the oldest Oscar winner ever and he expected a standing ovation - which he rightfully received. And let's face it, his wife is a babe too. She was better dressed than a lot of young bitches in attendance.

BRANGELINAAAA!!!!! So she was in black, and doing weird poses all night, BUT OH MY GOD SO GORGEOUS!!!! The structured beauty of this dress, the hair, that face, BRAD, it was all workin' for the Brange last night. Can you indulge me as I post some more pics of them pleeeeaaase? Sweet.

Aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh! King and Queen of Hollywood, you continue your reign with beauty and Pitt Porn. Love it.

And now, for my top two! Dun dun dunnn.

NO, DUH. GWYNETH. IN TOM FORD. AND A CAPE. It doesn't get much better than this folks, this was a proper Fashion Moment. There were audible gasps when Gwynnie appeared on the red carpet. I am still in awe. SHE WORE A CAPE. A beautifully designed cape. The crisp white and clean lines make this the perfect minimalist Oscars gown. Oh my God.

Was there ever any doubt? My girl Jessica Chastain had wowed me already during this awards season with the white Givenchy and she did not disappoint at the Oscars. Her tumbling red waves and porcelain skin off-set this McQueen gown to perfection. It fit her like a second skin (but, better) and enhanced her curves while still being fashionable and interesting. This lady is one to watch in her career but also, always, on the red carpet. Very interesting choices. And she is so gosh darn sweet. You just sort of want all good things for her, ya know? L-O-V-E.