Monday, February 13, 2012


So DUH the Grammys belonged to mah girl Adele Laurie Blue Adkins this year and I, for one, could not be more thrilled. I feel like I have been celebrating a personal friend's wonderful, victorious successes and I'm honestly grinning from ear-to-ear. Am I weird to be rejoicing in a celebrity's triumphs with such happiness and effervescence? Do I care? Doesn't everybody feel good when Adele wins? Don't we all want her to be happy and celebrated? Aren't we all rooting for her? (And aren't we all watching Simon Konecki with a fierce "be careful boy" side-eye?)

Anyway. I shall get to Adele. I can't give it all in the first paragraph can I? We need to work towards to the good stuff, get warmed up first.

The Good

I'm not going to lie, aside from Adele, there wasn't much. 

It's been a while since we've seen sleek sex-bomb Rihanna and I liked it. I love her always, no matter what she wears, but it feels like more of a win if I actually think she looks stunning and not just like I want to bang her. Honestly, she's like sex on legs. And it just got better when she put on a deep, plum lipstick later in the show. Gooorge.

Look at those dapper Followills! Jared (on the right) is my personal fave, but they all know how to rock a suit. Lily Aldridge, Caleb's wife also looked amazing. I mean, what a beautiful pregnant lady right? I don't even like her that much (she is def not my favourite Angel) but even I can see past my own bias. They are going to have one hella cute kid. P.S. Nathan's eyes do things to me. P.P.S. Why are they all settling down and getting hitched? Apart from Jared. YO JARED, HOLLA. LOVE YOU.

Only Jennifer Hudson could have done this tribute to Whitney. It was emotional, stunning, moving, all good things. It was also sad. My favourite Whitney song was done justice though. R.I.P.

The Bad

First and foremost, where was Amy? I know Whitney was the most fresh pain for everybody and is a Legend and it was huge, recent news, but I feel like Amy deserved a little more recognition than she got (which happened to be about 2.5 seconds in the Memorial montage).  But to be fair, this was a minor problem in the grand scheme of things.

Chris Brown, major Douche Lord of the Universe, was allowed to perform not once, but twice at the 2012 Grammy Awards. The same event at which his once-girlfriend was not able to attend three years ago because he beat her violently during an altercation, leaving her bruised and bloody on the side of the road. I won't post the picture here (I feel guilty because I adore Rihanna and I think she'd hate it to resurface all the time) but I think we can all remember it. Even if you can't, you know what he did. You can't excuse him, you can't explain it away. He is guilty. It happened. He is a jerk. He went out and celebrated after his trial, partying at some random Hollywood club because his sentencing was lenient as fuck and he is a smug little asshole who knows he got off easily. I don't think he knows what true remorse is.

Feeling really bad about his punishment
 He is an entitled little shit and had the gall to complain about radio stations, Oprah, old fans etc. not supporting him enough after his shallow half-hearted public apology ( He clearly meant it so much that mere months after he assaulted Rihanna, he threw a fit backstage at a television studio because he didn't like the questions they were asking him (questions he and his people had seen beforehand by the way, and approved, yelled at everybody around him, and broke windows in his rage. Clearly, this violent fuck did not learn his lesson.

Three years on and this jerk douche asshole c--- was invited back to the Grammys to perform twice and even received an award. Ha ha domestic're being way too sensitive about this. Come on, it's been three years, can't you all just get over it? He's changed and said sowwee. Screw you Grammys for celebrating such an awful person and making his actions okay. Screw you for making light of what he did. Screw you for validating Chris fucking Brown.

Anyway. Sorry. Didn't mean to make this post so Chris Brown-heavy but I think it's truly dangerous to let people like him get away with their miserable actions. That's my little lecture, moving on.

I love our Lady of Holiness, Gaga as much as anybody, but didn't you feel like she was such a non-event at the Grammys? How can somebody who has dominated so much in the last few years be so blah this year? Actually, no, wait, maybe it wasn't that. Maybe Gaga just knew it was Adele's year and chose not to make it all about her? Props for not showing up in an egg. Sorry, 'vessel'. Yeah, I think she knew. If this is the case, good for her. She's not in the bad column for being bad, but for sort of being nothing. Ya dig?

I wish Katy and Rihanna weren't such good friends because I fucking love Rihanna (and her deep, plummy lipstick! Oh my God! Heavenly!) but Katy reeeeaally gave me the shits last night. I think she really put the final nail in the coffin of our weird love-hate relationship. I'll still listen to her music but her ridiculous performance at the Grammys reminded me how much she can annoy me. First of all, she looked like shit. Secondly, what was that god-awful performance outfit? Thirdly, aren't you embarrassed at yourself after seeing people like Adele perform? But most importantly, how dare you project the image that Russell was a piece of shit husband who tried to take everything from you and that your marriage was meaningless. Only weeks ago you were both professing how amicable the divorce was and only DAYS ago it became public knowledge that Russell is not, in fact, taking shit from you, but walking away from $22 million that he is entitled to. So shut the fuck up and don't try and capitalise on your divorce. How pathetic.

Speaking of pathetic...I am so done with Taylor Swift. Ok, well, I always have been. The sugar fairy princess persona has always rubbed me the wrong way and the Grammys were no exception. Her annoyingness was on full display, she had an ugly fringe, she played a banjo and the "what?! little old me won?!" face was out in force. After a bazillion awards won throughout your career is it really necessary to act so shocked every damn time you win something? Ugh, fuck OFF.

The Ugly


I actually think if this wasn't all-the-way see-through I wouldn't have hated it so much. Or at all. I mean, it is the Grammys. It is a totally acceptable event to be dressed a little wacky. I encourage it, in fact. Just...not quite like this.

CARRIE UNDERWOOD. YOU ARE NOT AN UGLY PERSON. HOW CAN IT BE SO DIFFICULT TO MAKE YOU LOOK GOOD? Honestly, doesn't her outfit always scream "Thank you so much for the Country Music Award!" In a bad way. In a very, very bad way. N.B. Carrie also has an epic bitchface. EPIC. I prefer it so much to her fake Country Princess bullshit.

Sea urchin. Ugly. Stupid bow. Matches HAIR. Bitchface. Dumb-dumb head. Be nice to Russell, I bet that performance tore him up inside.

Yeah...I don't know. I guess Nicki is just wacky for being wacky right? That's what this is? Ok.

It's a testament to how much I love Robyn that I don't automatically just write her off after seeing this, um, ensemble. Geeeez. 


Really, what is there to say about Adele that you don't already know? She is beautiful. She is talented beyond belief. She is hilarious. She is engaging and warm and wonderful and I love her. I love that she is so successful, I love that she is so universally-loved, I love that she transcends musical boundaries. She deserves every bit of acclaim she gets and every one of those SIX awards she won last night.

Her speeches, as always, were endearing and heartfelt and definitely off-the-cuff ("oh, a bit of snot!"). And HER HAIR was even more spectacular. I thought I would hate her if she ever changed her hair colour from that beautiful 'ginger-nut' colour it was (her words) and yet I am all over the blonde. It's perfect for her! It's elegant, it's flattering, it's retro, it's grown-up. Oh, and her red lipstick! When I got my first glimpse of her in the pre-show I audibly gasped. I've never seen her with a red lip, and with the hair, and the gorgeous floor-length dress and her giddy smile...good was too much for me to handle.

She was pure perfection on Sunday night (always, forever, every day). Her style, her face, her love LOVE. Watching her win Album of the Year made my life. Like many I'm sure, I am emotionally attached to this record and I feel like my special little friend that has comforted me and made me cry and sent tingles down my spine has grown up and finished off a wonderful year in the most apt fashion.

It was her first time singing in five months, following her throat surgery and Adele gave us this show-stopping performance:


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