SO TRY HARDER NEXT YEAR YOU DUMB HOES, YOU GET PAID MILLIONS TO DRESS YOURSELVES UP AND HAVE YOUR PICTURE TAKEN SO GIVE US SOMETHING GOOD.
Ugh.
I may be coming down a little hard on them though. At least there wasn't a whole fucking wash of blush nude sequin things. Blah blah, you're probably scrolling past me ranting...onto the dresses!
Get yer shit together, repeat offenders!
Really Cam? She of the customised Chanel couture? A nude, strapless, ruffled thing? This is all you have to offer? It must be the shame of humping on P. Diddy getting you down. Good. You SHOULD feel ashamed of yourself. You're better than this. In every way. Still loving your cute bob though. Props where props are due.
HOW has this woman been to the Academy Awards ten times? TEN. TIMES. A DECADE. She has never been nominated! To put this into perspective...Brad has attended three times. That's Brad Pitt. Also, she looks like shit. This ain't the Grammy's you dumpster-diving ho (seriously, I hate Caspar Smart. I can't believe she can't see what we see. A pathetic, gross faux-mance with a little boy!)
Oh. I guess this is kinda cute. Stacy came dressed as an Oscar, because she thought her bf would have one at the end of the night. Pity it's cheap and nasty and vile. Dear Lord. By the way, George, you're standing pigeon-toed...and you look short...time to trade this one in my friend. And please keep in mind that this strategy isn't working for you. The average-but-pretty, nondescript escort is not necessary. You are so damn charming and funny, that's all you needed for your Oscar campaign. That's how Jean swiped it from ya. (Okay, there might have been other factors, but don't doubt me my friends - Stacy is a strategy and nothing more, I promise you. And she, as a strategy, failed.)
Kristen. Kristen Kristen Kristen. After a series of boring, nude, blah ensembles throughout the awards season, you turn up to the Academy Awards in a boring, nude, blah ensemble. I don't know what to say about this. I love and adore you and I know you're better than this. you've disappointed me. You wrote a hilarious, fun, raunchy, amazing comedy and you mack on with FABRIZIO MORETTI. WHAT. IS. THIS?
I mean, it's not her worst...and I totally understand her desire to have her arms covered, but the sleeves are my least favourite bit. I feel like this could have been saved with different sleeves...more structured material maybe? It just feels like an overwhelming abundance of flawy material. Yep, needed different, slim-fitting sleeves. STUNN-ING face though. Heavenly.
Oh God, I am so torn about this. It started off as a hot mess for me, then I decided I loved it, now I don't know? In some pics it looks so much nicer...but in most, it looks like a bit of a gold disaster. I like the style, the draping, her teeny waist...yeah, I dunno.
As if it's not bad enough that it's sanctimonious douchelord Natalie Herschlag, she goes and rocks up in polka dots. I mean...it's like you're not even trying. Is the message you're trying to send here "ugh, I already have one of these, don't you know I have a baby now? Fine, I'll perform by Best Actress duties then I am going to immerse myself back into the creation of creation that is creating Motherhood. Also, no big deal, but look how tiny my waist is"? Because we get it. But we also fucking hate you for it.
Argh, this one pains me. I love you Pene but really? A lavender ball gown? Come onnnn it's not interesting or nice AT ALL. But you're so pretty....however, you didn't bring Javier Bardem with you. You stay in the Bad Book.
Tina. Tina Tina Tina. After so many years of being one of my 'Bests', always, lately you've been disappointing me. This dress looks largely inoffensive (the top half at least), but I have a problem with stiff material that sort of drapes and hangs...it looks so unflattering. If it's not fitted to perfection...it just looks like a lot of excess material. Is it...baby brain? Kidding, I love you, don't hate me!
I think I may have heard some fashion commentators speaking of this outfit positively...in which case...maybe they have baby brain too. I find this to be a horrendously unflattering fit, a frankly offensive colour and also...I just don't get it. So many details. So much extra. P.S. No offence, but so glad Viola Davis didn't win Best Actress!!! I hate The Help. So racist and dangerous. Props for the Academy for not rewarding it so lavishly like everybody else did.
Et voila! Another awards show, another Worst post. Coming up next, my Bests and my fave moments. Stay tuned lovers x
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