Monday, January 12, 2015

More golden moments please, more more more!

Wheeeeeee onto the good stuff! Amongst the largely boring state of affairs this morning, rays of joy and sunlight broke through the clouds and shone down on the stars, and many other mixed analogies that are less confusing than this one but which generally mean ALL. GOOD. THINGS.

The Handsome Gentlemen

Chris Pratt, mah main man of 2014 looking DAPPER. AS. FUCK. with his gorgeous wife Anna Faris. These two. Goddamn. I wouldn't even mind being the lame third-wheel hanging out with them, I just want to hang out with them.

Did not expect to see Colin Firth this year, not sure why, but please note that it resulted in actual squee-ing at my desk. I'm sure I was super fun at work today.

His acceptance speech for the Cecil B. Demille award was pretty perfect. It was heartwarming, it was funny, it was poignant and I basically just cannot get over that he is married and publicly acknowledges this. I love that Amal is like the equivalent status of a rockstar to him as a rockstar would be to us plebs. She is a badass and they are my favourite celeb couple. DEAL WITH IT.

Navy seems to be having a moment with gorgeous dapper men on the red carpet at the moment, and I am okay with this if they look as fiiiine as Kit Harrington. 

Legit one of the only pictures I could find of my fave, Mark Ruffalo. Which is a travesty. Because look at him.

Dreamy, dreamy Matt Bomer WON FOR BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR and I fully endorse this. Not only because of his dreamy blue eyes, but literally everything else about him. Including his very sweet acceptance speech that highlighted Mark Ruff's awesomeness.

OH HEY JAKEY YOU GET THREE PICTURES FOR BEING THE BEST BOYFRIEND TO ME ANY BOY COULD BE. So funny, so broody, so sweet. How are you everything?! When he teared up during sister Maggie's acceptance speech, I also may have had a little something in my eye. It's been too damn long since I've had Jakey around for regular updates so I'm really excited to have him back as a nominee and with like a billion films to promote. Yay! Swoon! Call me.

Best Dressed Ladies, in order

Christine Baranski, showing the young 'uns how it's done. Style, elegance and beauty in one gorgeous package. Us mere mortals could only dream of looking this good now, let alone at her age.

Gwyneth skipped the red carpet this year, but she pretty much always makes my best-dressed list and 2015 is no exception, I see you Gwynnie! It's not a white caped Tom Ford gown, but it's a great Globes dress. And her hair looks fantastic, better than it has in ages. Okay, fine, I've also been dazzled by dat ass.

A perennial fave, I don't remember the last time Sienna has disappointed me. I weirdly loved this from the second I saw her on-screen. Beautiful.

It was a CLOSE countdown to #1 but Lupita got allllll my best-dressed praise last year, so today, she is runner up. Holy moly this is stunning though. She looks like an incredible, live, hydrangea. And I mean that in the best, most gushing way possible. I. LOVE. HER.

Aaaaaaaaand best dressed this year goes to EMMA STONE in the most perfectly tailored jumpsuit known to the human race, and probably puppies too. Wow. It takes balls to wear this outfit and it takes even bigger ones to pull it off. She is faultless. I want her hair. And her skin. And her boyfriend. And to be at the butt of one of Amy and Tina's jokes and take it ever-so-graciously and then seem even cooler than I already was. And then kick back and chill out because I AM WEARING A RAD JUMPSUIT. Winning at life; Emma is doing it.

Part 3: Tina and Amy win the Globes again
Can we just bring them back forever? Why does their reign have to end? Remember "And now, like a supermodel's vagina, let's all give a warm welcome to Leonardo DiCaprio!" Or, or "I haven't really been following the controversy over 'Zero Dark Thirty', but when it comes to torture, I trust the lady who spent three years married to James Cameron." Oh how we LAUGHED.

This year was no exception. They even made Robin Wright laugh! Out loud! With her mouth open! But re-live it and see for yourself. It's cool, I'll wait.

I don't even know where to begin on the Bill Cosby stuff but I'm actually glad they went there. They called him out YEARS ago on Weekend Update and now that they had the bigger platform, good on 'em for going there again. Not gonna lie, I almost wet myself and felt my jaw unhinge and hit the floor simultaneously. Which are both reactions a good opening awards show monologue should entail!

My favourite beyond favourite perfect quote of the entire evening which I will now leave you with once again is obviously:

"George Clooney married Amal Alamuddin this year. Amal is a human right's lawyer who worked on the Enron case, an advisor to Kofi Annan on Syria and was appointed to a three-person commission investigating rules of war violations in the Gaza strip [pause] So tonight her husband is getting a lifetime achievement award." The delivery was flawless, and his reaction was priceless. 

Thanks for the laughs Amy and Tina! I will miss you next year, no matter who hosts instead!

I put my vote forward for Kristen Wiig though. Hollywood Foreign Press Association, you can just have that piece of advice for free. Do with it what you will. 

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