Wednesday, June 5, 2013

The Brange

Brangelina is back from hibernation!!!! And I, for one, am thrilled. I have always been, and always will be, Team Jolie. I will choose the philanthropic, intelligent, talented UN ambassador over the pothead party girl who stars in Gerard Butler movies any day of the week. Just saying.

But I loved 'The Switch', I'm only human.


Angelina is back in the public eye after penning a moving piece about her double mastectomy in the New York Times (if you haven't read it yet, you should definitely take the time to do so And she is positively radiant. I think I actually missed seeing her and Brad around. They have been keeping their shit on the down low since her infamous Leg Incident at the Oscars last year.

To reiterate - since receiving months of treatment and a preventative double mastectomy, Brangelina has managed to keep their privacy (side-eye to Jessica Alba once again being papped in a park whoring out her kids...). This is on the same level as Sandra Bullock keeping her baby's adoption under wraps when she was under the most intense public scrutiny of her career i.e. a very public, very dramatic divorce. If these two can fly under the radar when they need to, you can bet your ass that the Albas and the Biels and the Bosworths and the Livelys of this world could avoid the paps if they wanted to, yet still happen to find themselves photographed on a romantic trip in the middle of Nowheresville, Utah (ahem, Blake and Ryan). If they really valued their privacy, they could make it happen is what I'm saying. You know, as opposed to using the paps to keep themselves relevant and then bitch about wanting to maintain their privacy to the tabloids. I mean. Fuck the fuck off.

But I digress. PITT PORN! I really just want to use this particular post to gush over all the new pics of them. Angie is looking better than she has in aaaaaages and call me crazy, but I'm sort of enjoying how they're matching looks/outfits on this 'World War Z' press tour. Let's take a peek, shall we?

Appearance #1

Probably my least favourite aesthetically speaking, but ahhhhhhh how cute and affectionate are they! Their hair is equally flowy and bouncy! And not to rub salt in anyone's wounds, but for all the "she stole him! She's an adulteress bitch!"drama, they've now been together longer than Jen and Brad were... Also, you can't steal another human being. They have to leave. Also also, why does she cop all the blame in this scenario? Brad was the one who was married and committed to another person, yet he seems to still be beloved by the same majority who would be happy to see Angie torn to shreds by a pack of coyotes. Sexism is still alive and well in the 21st century folks, in case anyone was still wondering about that little -ism. Phew.

Rant over, back to the pic porn!

Appearance #2

Aaaaaaaarghhhhh! LOVE this! When is the last time she looked so stylin'? Look at the perfect cut of that Saint Laurent suit! I am salivating right now. She's incredible. Am I crazy for enjoying the fact that they have matching hair/looks here? Who am I? I hate when couples are matchy-matchy. But I just can't throw any shade here. Obsessed. I want her to dress like this always. ALWAYS.

Appearance #3

Ok, it's not the best dress, but who cares. That face still makes me catch my breath sometimes. And at least the outfit fits properly - I think her main problem is wearing stuff that fits her teeny frame. So far, successes all-round! Happy claps!

Basically, I need Brange in the world to feel at ease. It makes me happy to watch them, when they want me to. This has been a brilliantly executed campaign trail for 'World War Z' and I know I, for one, will watch it for them. To say thank you. For the Pitt Porn. 

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