No, I am not pregnant. Nor do I know anybody who is. I have no plans to be pregnant in the near future. However that, precisely, is part of the problem.
Today my mum and I went to buy some baby clothes for a friend of ours who recently gave birth to a tiny human and holy shitballs, baby clothes are expensive nowadays! I picked up a cotton summer dress - sleeveless, plain, t-shirt material cotton with NO embellishments or anything - and it was $136. ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY-SIX DOLLARS. For a teeny tiny baby dress. The baby will get like six months wear out of it. How can they charge so much?!
This worries me because IMAGINE how expensive baby clothes will get by the time I actually do want to reproduce! Friends and family will have to go in together and pitch in for one pair of $3000 shoes. Or worse, they will buy me the one shoe and be all "Erm, didn't you get the other one? It's in the mail, swearz."
But the worst part about it was the wankiness of the lady selling the clothes. As we were returning some other clothes and buying different ones because we changed our minds she was a bit pissy at us. My mother asked her if the outfit we had chosen matched. She then sniffily retorted thusly:
"Yes...it's a story. This is a story. And the one you returned, just so you know, that was also a story in case you were wondering. It was intended to be a story. It goes together."
Yo, lady, here's a story for ya.
Once upon a time there was a very snooty lady. She worked in a snooty children's clothing store and gave the clothes ridiculous snooty prices. Then one day two very NICE ladies came into the store to drop some bucks and buy some gorgeous but incredibly over-priced clothes in her snooty store. But the very snooty lady was very snooty to them so they walked out of the store and said "fuck her, she is very stupid, and her stories were very boring" and then they left and vowed never to go back to that awful snooty land. Until maybe in the future when a really cute baby was born and was worthy of such pricey threads. Maybe.
Unless I get married to someone who can afford to wipe their ass with hundred dollar bills (and I plan on it) ain't no baby of mine wearing designer rags that will last six months. I know some of you that know me are laughing at me and thinking "yeah, right Aph. Because you are not superficial at all!" But my experiences today have helped me be more of a rational type person. I hope this wears off soon, it brings with it far too much stress about real things.