Red Carpet, All Day

In an ideal world, it would be red carpet day every day. Alas, it wouldn't be such a treat if it was Christmas every day and it wouldn't be as exciting if it was AWARDS SEASON every day. So I take what I can and I savour every single moment. Every stitch, every awful gown, every fashion Moment, all of it. And it all makes me happy, vapid as it makes me.

Let's start with the 'Blahs'

This very emblematic of an Anna Kendrick dress: boring, and a little 'old'. Which is hard for me, because she is beyond fabulous, on Twitter, in Pitch Perfect, and in life. Just not on the red carpet.

For most, this would be a massive success. For Emma Stone…it's beneath her. Especially when she wears things like this, this, this, and THIS usually. But it's fine. I guess.

A win for JLo, a blergh for 'anyone' else. I'm pretty proud of her for not just wearing something entirely form-fitting though!

Sure, it's a diaper bag on her back. But she's Marion Cotillard and she gets a pass because she still made everyone gasp when she stepped out of the limo due to her stunning beauty.

I like this. She's great. All hail Queen Meryl who can do no damn wrong, even if it isn't exactly mind-blowing.

Again, a massive win for Patricia! There's usually something a little off about her overall look but I couldn't really fault this. I'm happy for her.

SO BORING REESE!!! She used to always be my best-dressed when she wore more interesting dresses. I mean, remember this post-divorce Moment? It made a splash because it was such a departure for her and now she just keeps wearing the same dress, slightly different! Look: Item #1, Item #2, Item #3, Item #4. Sorry, are you asleep yet?

I know there's a neck plate…and I hated this at first…but damn if her body is not out-of-this-world incredible. I think she elevated this dress. Maybe I just like her hair.

Nah. Unsalvageable.

Oh…no. I know it's custom McQueen but this design was just off. Or she was too short for it? I'm not sure but it looks like she's swimming in material and it's swallowing her whole. Got excited when I first saw the top half though and then…nah.

This looks like a gown Princess Diana would have worn. Jessica Chastain is young, and gorgeous and sexy and she's dressed like a middle-aged royal at a charity gala.

Eurgh. I hate this floral-earthy-cutesy schtick that so many pregnant women stick with. Keira Knightley has flawless style and I am blaming this and her Golden Globes gown on hormones because I can't think of what else possessed her.

THIS IS JUST BIZARRE. Nicole Kidman is one of my all-time red carpet faves ever ever and I usually froth over her interesting and stunning choices and this is so OFF. The colours together are also downright weird. I'm gobsmacked.

I love Rosamund and I thought she was incredible in 'Gone Girl' but this looks cheap as f-ck. Red, skintight, lace, split, and strappy heels. Rosamund is better than this gown and you can see this realisation in her face.

Another disappointment to me. Zoe Saldana is one of the very few who can wear weird, conceptual, interesting gowns and make them look amazing and now she wears spaghetti straps. I can't even.

Round 3 will be up soon with all my favourites. Be prepared for gushing, otherwise, look away.