'A Long Way Down' is my favourite book in ever, of all time. I re-read it constantly, wondering if I've missed some nuance, a joke, a reference - I haven't - but each time it feels new and exciting and I marvel at how good it is. It is really good. Seriously, even Johnny Depp likes it (that's how I got my picky cousin to read it).
Anyway, I love reading it. I love reading any Nick Hornby novel (particularly 'About A Boy' and 'High Fidelity') and I am now absolutely desperate for a newbie. It feels like it's been ages since a new Hornby novel...because it has. It would seem that our friend Nick got distracted working on an album with Ben Folds. Underachiever. So he hasn't had a lot of time. But I'm sending out a plea to Hornby, to cyberspace, to the world: PLEASE DELIVER ME A NEW BOOK I AM ABOUT TO CRAWL OUT MY SKIN.
To comfort myself, I've not only been re-reading 'A Long Way Down' but simply poring through memorable Hornby quotes. The gift he has with words is truly amazing. They make you laugh at first, but then you feel a choking lump in your throat and then a lightbulb goes off and you're like "OH! You just perfectly encapsulated that experience that I had that one time!" It's pretty great.
So purely for my own indulgence, I will be posting a series of blogs consisting solely of Nick Hornby quotes from a variety of sources. It's been such an arduous task compiling my favourites.
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Monday, January 10, 2011
Give Boobs Legsly a rest
Ugh. It's been a while since I've done a post hating on Boobs Legsly (Blake Lively for the uninitiated, but it's pretty self-explanatory) so I thought it was time for an update.
I was so happy for a while. I'm not sure if you heard, but she lost out on the role of Daisy in Baz Luhrman's upcoming adaptation of 'The Great Gatsby'.Carey Mulligan got the role instead. What actually kills me is that Blake thought SHE was a viable option to be cast in the role.
This:
Really thought it could compete with this:
Carey Mulligan in the above picture is showing more emotion than Blake Lively has ever portrayed in her entire career. And yet they persist. Wintour and Lagerfeld they insist that she is the Next Big Thing. Endless Vogue covers and a new (inevitable) Chanel campaign all trying to tell us that Boobs Legsly is an amazingly talented actress, a style icon, worthy of our time. Are you fucking kidding me?
Regardless of talent (has to be regardless, because she doesn't have any) her sartorial choices alone scream "Tits and Ass!" Is that a style icon now? Was that what Kate Moss was doing all this time? You might be wondering why I am devoting an entire blog to this bitch if I hate her so much. I am one of those lame internet people who sit behind their keyboards and type mean things who is jealous, etc etc. I am not denying that her body is Out. Of. This. World. Amazing. But I'm sick of having her shoved in my face by Hollywood and the fashion industry. There are so many others who are more worthy! (In this blog I have only outlined a few. It just so happened that's who's pictures I felt like looking at tonight - but there are oh so many others.)
Compare for yourselves:
This is who they're telling us is a style icon. Please. Like, we know your body is banging, please stop trying to remind us at every opportunity, it is unnecessary. It does not make you a style icon. Note in the last pic she is actually holding the split of her dress apart, in case you missed it.
But hey! The sole purpose of this post is not simply to be a Debbie Downer. I can be positive too! I like people! These next lovely ladies are not necessarily the MOST talented actresses or MOST stylish people everz in the world but every single one of them is a better option than Blake Lively. I can't wait until she realises that her tits won't get an Oscar, or even the roles she wants. Memo to Boobs: mumbling through every scene and not moving your face does not equate to good acting. Even Kristen Stewart is better than you. Yeah, that's right. And she dresses better too.
Kristen Stewart
Leighton Meester
I think it is criminal that BL's career is better than Leighton's right now (but I hear she's pretty good in the upcoming 'Country Strong' - wouldn't be hard to act in love with Garrett Hedlund though). Leighton is not only more stylin' but she is infinitely more versatile. I love her.
Like, she's just BETTER. Congrats on your Vera Wang campaign Leigh-Leigh!
Emma Stone
So much fucking love. Emma is not only versatile and amazing on the red carpet but also onscreen. Girl can act and she is endearing and funny and normal-like. I think this is her year anyway. Spiderman (WITH MY MAN ANDREW GARFIELD) should elevate her profile. If only SHE was banging Ryan Gosling instead...but the stars, they don't always do what we want. Dang.
Carey Mulligan
Duh. Carey is obviously the cream of the crop. There's no comparison really between her and Blake and yet Blake thinks she is worthy of the same roles. She is going up against all these girls - Mulligan, Knightley, Portman - and thinks she is in the same league. Bitch, please.
See how in comparison Blake just seems full of Try? (Well put Lainey). So to Anna Wintour and Karl Lagerfeld I want to say: stop pushing it. We don't buy it, any of it - her style icon-ness or her talent. So stop shoving her in my face. To her agents: find her a nice fluff piece and stop embarrassing yourselves by campaigning for roles like Daisy.
Sit DOWN Boobs Legsly.
I was so happy for a while. I'm not sure if you heard, but she lost out on the role of Daisy in Baz Luhrman's upcoming adaptation of 'The Great Gatsby'.Carey Mulligan got the role instead. What actually kills me is that Blake thought SHE was a viable option to be cast in the role.
This:
Really thought it could compete with this:
Carey Mulligan in the above picture is showing more emotion than Blake Lively has ever portrayed in her entire career. And yet they persist. Wintour and Lagerfeld they insist that she is the Next Big Thing. Endless Vogue covers and a new (inevitable) Chanel campaign all trying to tell us that Boobs Legsly is an amazingly talented actress, a style icon, worthy of our time. Are you fucking kidding me?
Regardless of talent (has to be regardless, because she doesn't have any) her sartorial choices alone scream "Tits and Ass!" Is that a style icon now? Was that what Kate Moss was doing all this time? You might be wondering why I am devoting an entire blog to this bitch if I hate her so much. I am one of those lame internet people who sit behind their keyboards and type mean things who is jealous, etc etc. I am not denying that her body is Out. Of. This. World. Amazing. But I'm sick of having her shoved in my face by Hollywood and the fashion industry. There are so many others who are more worthy! (In this blog I have only outlined a few. It just so happened that's who's pictures I felt like looking at tonight - but there are oh so many others.)
Compare for yourselves:
This is who they're telling us is a style icon. Please. Like, we know your body is banging, please stop trying to remind us at every opportunity, it is unnecessary. It does not make you a style icon. Note in the last pic she is actually holding the split of her dress apart, in case you missed it.
But hey! The sole purpose of this post is not simply to be a Debbie Downer. I can be positive too! I like people! These next lovely ladies are not necessarily the MOST talented actresses or MOST stylish people everz in the world but every single one of them is a better option than Blake Lively. I can't wait until she realises that her tits won't get an Oscar, or even the roles she wants. Memo to Boobs: mumbling through every scene and not moving your face does not equate to good acting. Even Kristen Stewart is better than you. Yeah, that's right. And she dresses better too.
Kristen Stewart
Leighton Meester
I think it is criminal that BL's career is better than Leighton's right now (but I hear she's pretty good in the upcoming 'Country Strong' - wouldn't be hard to act in love with Garrett Hedlund though). Leighton is not only more stylin' but she is infinitely more versatile. I love her.
Like, she's just BETTER. Congrats on your Vera Wang campaign Leigh-Leigh!
Emma Stone
So much fucking love. Emma is not only versatile and amazing on the red carpet but also onscreen. Girl can act and she is endearing and funny and normal-like. I think this is her year anyway. Spiderman (WITH MY MAN ANDREW GARFIELD) should elevate her profile. If only SHE was banging Ryan Gosling instead...but the stars, they don't always do what we want. Dang.
Carey Mulligan
Duh. Carey is obviously the cream of the crop. There's no comparison really between her and Blake and yet Blake thinks she is worthy of the same roles. She is going up against all these girls - Mulligan, Knightley, Portman - and thinks she is in the same league. Bitch, please.
See how in comparison Blake just seems full of Try? (Well put Lainey). So to Anna Wintour and Karl Lagerfeld I want to say: stop pushing it. We don't buy it, any of it - her style icon-ness or her talent. So stop shoving her in my face. To her agents: find her a nice fluff piece and stop embarrassing yourselves by campaigning for roles like Daisy.
Sit DOWN Boobs Legsly.
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
I want my mummy and daddy
I am SUCH a baby.
My parents are currently here, far away in Fiji:
They left this morning and the house is empty (my brother even has a life and is hanging out at his friends' place) and I already miss my mum and dad. HOW LAME AM I? You're probably thinking "really really lame Aph, especially considering they will be back in only 8 days" and you might be right but I just hate being alone all the time.
Like, this morning I was at the gym and there's a new trainer there now and she was all like "woah! you are so strong and wicked, check you out!" and I was all happy and beaming and wanting to come home and tell my dad because he is all about getting me fit at the moment and giving me tips and stuff and then I came home and forgot nobody would be here, so I couldn't tell anyone about my happy moment of the morning.
It doesn't sound like anything exciting or anything, but, you know, it's the kind of thing I tell my parents because they're the only people on the planet that will care about that stuff too. Anyway. I'm sure they are having fun and that is more important. For both of them, it's the first time they've been overseas since they were little kids. So good for them. I'm sending you cyber love guys <3 Oh and buy me something pretty.
P.S. My mum isn't even here to celebrate the BEST NEWS of ever: Jakey broke up with Swifty! The world is back as it should be.
My parents are currently here, far away in Fiji:
They left this morning and the house is empty (my brother even has a life and is hanging out at his friends' place) and I already miss my mum and dad. HOW LAME AM I? You're probably thinking "really really lame Aph, especially considering they will be back in only 8 days" and you might be right but I just hate being alone all the time.
Like, this morning I was at the gym and there's a new trainer there now and she was all like "woah! you are so strong and wicked, check you out!" and I was all happy and beaming and wanting to come home and tell my dad because he is all about getting me fit at the moment and giving me tips and stuff and then I came home and forgot nobody would be here, so I couldn't tell anyone about my happy moment of the morning.
It doesn't sound like anything exciting or anything, but, you know, it's the kind of thing I tell my parents because they're the only people on the planet that will care about that stuff too. Anyway. I'm sure they are having fun and that is more important. For both of them, it's the first time they've been overseas since they were little kids. So good for them. I'm sending you cyber love guys <3 Oh and buy me something pretty.
P.S. My mum isn't even here to celebrate the BEST NEWS of ever: Jakey broke up with Swifty! The world is back as it should be.
Friday, December 31, 2010
better 2011
Well it ain't a huge secret that 2010 sucked ass, what with the thesis and everything, so all I want for the next year is for it to be better. Ways in which this could become possible:
I get a new, full-time job.
I get a job that pays me lots of money.
I just get lots of money. Any way, I don't care how.
My love life becomes a whole lot more inspiring.
I magically get my driver's licence.
And then someone magically buys me a car.
I go overseas! That would be rad. It has never happened before so I would quite like this to happen for me. Thanks, world.
I get more healthy.
I end up looking like one of these girls:
A couple of simple requests really. Maybe I'll just get drunk for most of it and then I won't notice if it sucks or not. Note: this is the most plausible outcome.
I get a new, full-time job.
I get a job that pays me lots of money.
I just get lots of money. Any way, I don't care how.
My love life becomes a whole lot more inspiring.
I magically get my driver's licence.
And then someone magically buys me a car.
I go overseas! That would be rad. It has never happened before so I would quite like this to happen for me. Thanks, world.
I get more healthy.
I end up looking like one of these girls:
A couple of simple requests really. Maybe I'll just get drunk for most of it and then I won't notice if it sucks or not. Note: this is the most plausible outcome.
Friday, December 24, 2010
peachy peach peach stuff
AM I TOO LATE FOR CHRISTMAS?
Probably. Oh well, I shall tell you what I want anyway and maybe you can surprise me sometime. That would be nice. Actually, considering I have this blog where I tell people what I want all the time I should be getting heaps more shit. It's not like nobody knows what I want. HELLO.
Anyway. Peach! I know I have been banging on about coral for a million years but lately all I want to do is peach-ify my face. I actually (shockingly) do not have the gear for this. Normally when I decide I want to try a new makeup look I go and play with stuff I already have in my cupboard because odds are, I'll have appropriate products to use.
Not so with peach! Apparently my head has been too full of pinks and corals to ever pay attention to peaches and this makes me sad because I am now absolutely desperate for some new slap.
Seeeee how pretty?! Just imagine...peachy apricot lips, creamy peach blush, brown mascara/winged out black liquid eyeliner for nighttime...divine. Any recommendations will be welcome. Also note: I have a sort of peachy blush by Smashbox BUT I have no lippy to wear it with and it is far, far too shimmery for the naturale look I am going for. Thus the desire for a cream blush. Help!
Oh and as much as I hate her, Kate Bosworth's face kind of encapsulates the look I am going for:
Probably. Oh well, I shall tell you what I want anyway and maybe you can surprise me sometime. That would be nice. Actually, considering I have this blog where I tell people what I want all the time I should be getting heaps more shit. It's not like nobody knows what I want. HELLO.
Anyway. Peach! I know I have been banging on about coral for a million years but lately all I want to do is peach-ify my face. I actually (shockingly) do not have the gear for this. Normally when I decide I want to try a new makeup look I go and play with stuff I already have in my cupboard because odds are, I'll have appropriate products to use.
Not so with peach! Apparently my head has been too full of pinks and corals to ever pay attention to peaches and this makes me sad because I am now absolutely desperate for some new slap.
Seeeee how pretty?! Just imagine...peachy apricot lips, creamy peach blush, brown mascara/winged out black liquid eyeliner for nighttime...divine. Any recommendations will be welcome. Also note: I have a sort of peachy blush by Smashbox BUT I have no lippy to wear it with and it is far, far too shimmery for the naturale look I am going for. Thus the desire for a cream blush. Help!
Oh and as much as I hate her, Kate Bosworth's face kind of encapsulates the look I am going for:
Friday, December 17, 2010
Jake Gyllenhaal
If you know me AT ALL or even just read my blog you know that Jakey G is my main man. My number 1. My future life partner and father of my babies. He is therefore the only suitable topic for my 100TH POST!!!
So I watched 'Love and Other Drugs' on Thursday, the opening day. After meeting him last week, and experiencing my love grow for him over the last year, watching the movie was the damn buttercream icing on the motherfucking cake. Seriously, it's like someone let me concoct the perfect movie for him to be in. He is naked (a LOT - but not as much as people have been going on about it...certainly not for 65% of the movie LIARS), he is sexy at all times and he is so so soooo charming and witty and funny and goofy but sexy and smug at the same time. Also, his laugh.
Below I have compiled a bunch of my favourite pictures and interviews that I believe encapsulate That Thing that Jake has. I hope you see it too. Now excuse me while I get my quiver on. Sidenote: PLEASE tune in for at least some of the interviews at the end. These vids exhibit charm that will make your pants evaporate, they are THAT. GOOD. And I'm warning you, your daily productivity may be turned to shit. But first, enjoy the pic porn.
Reasons why I love Jake by use of visual aids:
He is the sex
He loves his family and is very family-oriented (he will be a great father to our babies)
He looks like he would be a GREAT boyfriend
He is very sexy, yes, but he is also an adorable goofball
He's a snappy dresser even when he's not on the red carpet
'Love and Other Drugs' is the perfect goddamn movie. GO.
And now, the interviews! Enjoy x
Jake Gyllenhaal gets full grilling (on his name)
Max 60 seconds interview with Anne Hathaway
This whole video is a highlight. Do yourself a favour and watch it. There's sex talk. Sigh. This video has the ability to ruin an entire day's productivity for me. Lucky it didn't exist during thesis time. Also, watch the one where he interviews Annie as well. It's cute.
Moviefone Unscripted (with Tobey Maguire and Natalie Portman)
Highlight: 3:58, 4:25 (The Spiderman story), 5:50 (the merkin...enjoy the visual), 8:45 (THE VEGAN WARS!!! So much adorableness - "this is what vegans talk about!"). Okay, so the whole thing is a highlight.
David Letterman
Highlight: 1:20 (Jake Gooberballs story. Yes man.) Such a good storyteller.
The Ellen Degeneres Show
Watch him squirm, talking about taking his shirt off. Meanwhile everyone is like FUCK YES, PLEASE. But now you can just watch 'LAOD'!
Extra Interview (with Annie)
The whole thing is a highlight, again. Shows his gentlemanly side also. Lady quiver. Especially when he whips his hair back and forth.
Jimmy Kimmel
Highlights (apart from how damn handsome he looks): 2:40 (talking about Russia), 3:39 (photobombing).
Jakey singing!!!
Jake on 'The Hour'
REALLY GOOD ONE. Especially 10:00 (in fact, skip to there if you want, when he talks about his old band and why he got kicked out).
Part 2 of Jake's Letterman Nov 2010 interview
Highlight: from 1:00 where they are talking about nakedity and "looking for holes in her defensive end".
Voila! That is why I love Jake Gyllenhaal.
So I watched 'Love and Other Drugs' on Thursday, the opening day. After meeting him last week, and experiencing my love grow for him over the last year, watching the movie was the damn buttercream icing on the motherfucking cake. Seriously, it's like someone let me concoct the perfect movie for him to be in. He is naked (a LOT - but not as much as people have been going on about it...certainly not for 65% of the movie LIARS), he is sexy at all times and he is so so soooo charming and witty and funny and goofy but sexy and smug at the same time. Also, his laugh.
Below I have compiled a bunch of my favourite pictures and interviews that I believe encapsulate That Thing that Jake has. I hope you see it too. Now excuse me while I get my quiver on. Sidenote: PLEASE tune in for at least some of the interviews at the end. These vids exhibit charm that will make your pants evaporate, they are THAT. GOOD. And I'm warning you, your daily productivity may be turned to shit. But first, enjoy the pic porn.
Reasons why I love Jake by use of visual aids:
He is the sex
He loves his family and is very family-oriented (he will be a great father to our babies)
He looks like he would be a GREAT boyfriend
He is very sexy, yes, but he is also an adorable goofball
He's a snappy dresser even when he's not on the red carpet
'Love and Other Drugs' is the perfect goddamn movie. GO.
And now, the interviews! Enjoy x
Jake Gyllenhaal gets full grilling (on his name)
Max 60 seconds interview with Anne Hathaway
This whole video is a highlight. Do yourself a favour and watch it. There's sex talk. Sigh. This video has the ability to ruin an entire day's productivity for me. Lucky it didn't exist during thesis time. Also, watch the one where he interviews Annie as well. It's cute.
Moviefone Unscripted (with Tobey Maguire and Natalie Portman)
Highlight: 3:58, 4:25 (The Spiderman story), 5:50 (the merkin...enjoy the visual), 8:45 (THE VEGAN WARS!!! So much adorableness - "this is what vegans talk about!"). Okay, so the whole thing is a highlight.
David Letterman
Highlight: 1:20 (Jake Gooberballs story. Yes man.) Such a good storyteller.
The Ellen Degeneres Show
Watch him squirm, talking about taking his shirt off. Meanwhile everyone is like FUCK YES, PLEASE. But now you can just watch 'LAOD'!
Extra Interview (with Annie)
The whole thing is a highlight, again. Shows his gentlemanly side also. Lady quiver. Especially when he whips his hair back and forth.
Jimmy Kimmel
Highlights (apart from how damn handsome he looks): 2:40 (talking about Russia), 3:39 (photobombing).
Jakey singing!!!
Jake on 'The Hour'
REALLY GOOD ONE. Especially 10:00 (in fact, skip to there if you want, when he talks about his old band and why he got kicked out).
Part 2 of Jake's Letterman Nov 2010 interview
Highlight: from 1:00 where they are talking about nakedity and "looking for holes in her defensive end".
Voila! That is why I love Jake Gyllenhaal.
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