Celeb couples I want to break up

Last time I shared with you all some of my favourite celebrity couples of all time who had sadly parted ways and I desperately wanted to reconcile.

Today I find myself feeling slightly more vindictive and mean. I would like to highlight some celebrity couples I hate and who I WANT to break up. Reasons vary from "he is too good for her", "too boring", "I can't bear to see any more pictures of them together", etc.

We begin with two giant crashing bores:

Prince William and Kate Middleton (aka Waity Katie)


You see, Waity Katie is so gosh darn boring that even Wills can't bear to be married to her. He knows his life will be infinitely more shit with her in it everyday and while he knows, "yes, this is an respectable choice of bride for me; yes, people may be reminded of my sweet mum; but no, my mum was sparky and interesting Kate is just boring and positively itching to be Royal". It's true, this is what he thinks, it's not just me. Sidenote: And if they ever DO get married (hope not) I'm sure the tabloids will whip out this pic to demonstrate her secret trashy past that will inevitably lead to problems:


Tweed and hats and being boring do not make you royal Kate Middleton!

Kate Bosworth and Alexander Skarsgard


VOM VOM VOM. As much as I envy Kate's wardrobe she is nowhere near good enough for the gorgeous Askars. PLUS she is making him a douche. After parading in front of the paparazzi all during Coachella (Kate sitting on his shoulders, making out, etc) Askars snapped and tried to punch one of them when he got his drank on. FYI Askars: if you do not like the paps as much as your non-working, desperate-for-attention girlfriend - BREAK. UP.

Delta Goodrem and Brian McFadden


"Who cares about these two Aph? What is wrong with you? You hate both of them!" I hear you cry. Well dear readers, this is true. I do hate both of these whores. Delta "butter wouldn't melt" Goodrem has been on my hate list for a while now. Basically, as soon as she entered my radar, but she was momentarily saved when she dated Mark Philippoussis (who supported her all through her battle with cancer). But then she met Brian when they recorded a duet together, and despite the fact that he was a married man, they hooked up. The Homewrecker and the drunken douchebag Irishman, hated by his own nation (possibly for ditching his kids for Delta). Why do I want them to break up then, if I hate them both? Because as pathetic and naive as it makes me seem, I don't believe Delta is a bad, awful person (like Brian). I think she should be with somebody else more like her. Then I won't have to see this gross couple staring up at me from the pages of Who.

Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds


Blergh. I love Ryan Reynolds. I do not like Scarjo. I ESPECIALLY do not like her as Ryan's wife. VOM. He is way way way way too good for her, and way too hot for her. I don't like them together. Everything about this couple just feels wrong for me. I understand they both have amazing, out-of-this-world bodies and felt the need to put that shit together...but to progress to MARRIAGE? Please. Time to end this extended fling.

Speidi


Obviously these two speak for themselves. They may seem like the perfect blonde, retarded couple and therefore made for each other but I leave you with one thought...IMAGINE IF WE LET THEM REPRODUCE.

Kourtney Kardashian and Scott Douchebag Disick (Dick)


Kourtney...baby, no. My dear surrogate sister who I love and adore...how can you do this? How can you still be with this asshole? Is he amazing in bed? Does he have secret footage of you partaking in disgusting sex acts? WHAT DOES HE HAVE ON YOU? He is one of the most disgusting people to ever walk the planet, and if seeing him shove dollar bills into a waiter's mouth for not serving him alcohol does not push you over the edge, WHAT WILL??? Please don't let him have a significant role in raising your child. Ew.

Celeb couples I want to get back together

It is a well known fact that I am a bit celebrity obsessed. This is true. I own this obsession. Over my celeb-obsessing years there have been many celebrity couples that have met their untimely demise. Countless, in fact. Hundreds that I do not care about. However there were the special few that for some reason or other have pained my heart. To this day, I still cling to the hope that they will get back together. And even in the cases where I know there is absolutely 100% no way it will (or even could) happen...I still want it.

Tim Robbins and Susan Sarandon


These two made me soooo sad when they ended their relationship. I actually could not believe it. I think they are so good together. They stuck it out for so long, I really thought it was foreverz.

Adam Brody and Rachel Bilson


Look at these two babes!!! Summer and Seth! Rachel and Adam! They both may have fallen off a lot of people's radars, but gosh darn were these two a cute couple. Case in point:


Compare the above pics to pics of Rachel and her current bf, Hayden Christensen:

I mean, vomit. It just ain't right. I love Rachel and I love Hayden. I do not love Rachel+Hayden. No.

Prince Harry (aka Prince Hot Ginge) and Chelsy Davy


I don't know what it is about these two. I don't think she's as attractive as he is on ANY level and yet...I like them together. They always seem to be having fun, totally into each other. They could possibly actually be back together. You never really know with these two. Fingers crossed.

Kate Moss and Jefferson Hack


I really, really liked these two together. I liked her with him. They made a gorgeous baby together (seriously, Lila Grace your genes and your future wardrobe are so envy-inducing I feel sick). My favourite of Kate's bfs (not including Johnny Depp, obviously).

Marc Jacobs and Lorenzo Martone


WOULD YOU LOOK AT THESE TWO? THEY ARE QUITE OBVIOUSLY PERFECT TOGETHER! So whyyyy did they break up last week? I don't know. But I desperately want a reconciliation.

Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson


How anybody could have watched "Newlyweds" and NOT loved these two together, is beyond me. They are quite obviously perfect for each other. I loved this era of Jessica Simpson, and I loved watching how much Nick loved her. Sadface.

Charlize Theron and Stuart Townsend


Another example of the Best Actress curse. Charlize and Stuart seemed so tight. Sigh. By the way, the common theme that seems to be recurring is the fact that these two seemed PERFECT together. I guess that is why I am so pained by all of these breakups. I feel like all of these couples should be together, even if I am quite apathetic towards the individuals IN the couples. Such as these two.

Hilary Swank and Chad Lowe


Another couple I thought would go the distance. She is in another relationship now but this one seemed more...right. You know? You know.

Justin Timberlake and Cameron Diaz


Don't particularly care for either of these two...but I did like them together. They always seemed to be happy and enjoying themselves, and I liked looking at pics of them in trashy tabloids more than JT's current gf. I mean, compare for yourself:


blerg. Go away Jessica Biel.

Rachel McAdams and Ryan Gosling.


WOULD YOU JUST LOOK AT THESE TWO. LOOK AT THE CHEMISTRY. LOOK HOW GOOD-LOOKING THEY ARE. LOOK HOW MUCH THEY MADE OUT IN PUBLIC:






Like, you can just SEEEE the sex was amazing, non? I should note the last one was taken from the time they actually DID get back together after the break-up. So while I want them back together because they seem so perfect, I accept that this maybe isn't the best for them. But that's ok, I have other plans for these two (look for them in the upcoming "Couples I want to see get together" post).

And this is where it starts getting extra super painful. The next two celeb couples are probably my favourite of all time. The break-ups still hurt me.

Heath Ledger and Michelle Williams


I am not crazy. I know he has passed away (that one hurts way, way, way more than the break up ever did) but I really, really wanted these two to get back together. They had a gorgeous family, they seemed to love each other so much even after they split, and maybe if they had reconciled before he past away...I dunno. Maybe things could have been different. Such a sweet couple:








Aw, man. I still miss him. Heartache.

More heartache:
Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Phillippe


These two met at Reese's 21st birthday. Ryan crashed her party and she approached him and asked him if he was her birthday present. I mean...seriously...heartsqueeze! This is probably a prime example of a couple who seemed absolutely, resolutely, 100% perfect together. Now, yes, he seems like a bit of a douche but I think they were good for each other.




Sidenote: if anyone can find the video of her acceptance speech at these Golden Globes (for Walk the Line) where he grabs her by the ass, I will be forever indebted. It's so adorably funny.




Forever immortalised in Cruel Intentions.


LOOK. IS IT JUST ME, BUT SHOULDN'T THESE FOUR BE TOGETHER AS A FAMILY? Ryan please get your act together and win her back from this douchey Jim Toth agent of hers. Please. Redeem yourself.

Stay tuned for upcoming posts:
Couples I want to break up
Couples I never want to break up
Couples I want to get together

UNLIMITED DOWNLOADS, THX

So I am a very bad blogger. Blame uni, blame honours, blame writing an epic honours ethics application. Not to mention work, and nothing happening in my life to worth blogging about. Not that that has stopped me in the past!

Anyway. I digress. Sorry. I know people actually read this and like to see pretty pictures so again, sorry, regular updates will resume soon (especially now that ethics application has been submitted). And when I get my high-speed internetz back, I too, will be back with a vengeance. You see I exceeded my download limit way back on April 12th - THE 12TH!!!. Thanks to a renewed Survior obsession, my interwebz pretty much died.

So now I come to you from Canada Bay Library. Ah yes, I have been forced down to my local to use an internet connection that does not take 12 hours to load a page. Indeed MY internet connection took almost 24 hours to load the latest episode of Survivor on youtube. I almost felt bad for making it struggle...but my want/DESPERATE NEED for Survivor outweighs all else.

Ergo, to get any work done, I am at a public library. This is how dedicated I am to uni work and blogging. Thank me later.

Okay, over and out. My connection is about to time out. Just letting y'all know I'm not dead (only a little bit inside) and will be back with pretty fashiony obsessions soon. Think Tom Binns xx

Epic shoe post.

Feat. Burberry. Wedges. Nicholas Kirkwood.

Lately thoughts of shoes have been weighing heavily on my mind. Desire, lust, indecision, greed...all powerful, pervasive emotions tugging on my soul. Not only do I want so many shoes, but I don't know which ones I want to buy. I don't realistically know what I can afford because I don't know what my work shifts will be after next week. Or if I'll have a job next year after graduating uni.

I also don't know what I want simply because I just can't make up my mind. Somewhere in the last six months I seem to have lost all ability to make my own decisions about what to buy/what is fierce. Buying my birthday dress ALONE in the middle of the CITY was torture. Tor-ture. Like, it was fine, the dress was great, it was Kirrily Johnston and I found bangin' Miu mius to go with it. And yet I almost tore my hair out trying to make a decision. Sigh. I gotta get my own will back and stop haranguing my cousin Anthea over every possible purchase.

Speaking of Anthea, I want all you bitchez to go and buy InStyle this month (Anne Hathaway is on the cover). Why? Because Anthea's illustration is in it that's why! If you flick to page 222 it is next to the Lucette section. So talented. Garance, who?

ONTO THE SHOES!

First of all, I would just like to say that Burberry is bang-on generally, like, all the time. But their Ready to Wear Spring/Summer 2010 collection knocked it out of the park. Especially re: shoes. So here they are, my fave Burberry shoes of the moment. Some may be from another season. Who cares. Feast your eyes:






Also: note the socks. Love love love it. I want those socks.




Love these...


but I think they're better in cream.


See runway for reference.


Not sure where these are from. Don't care. They are Burberry. They are divine.


Pretty satin Burberry flats! These would not last on my feet for 20 seconds. They're too satiny and pretty. But I would stare at them a lot.

Okay, onto the wedges. FYI: I used to HATE wedges. I detested them with a passion (as, indeed, the word 'detest' would imply). But then a change happened. I think it started with these...


These Diane von Furstenberg babies changed my life.


I'm pretty sure these are Givenchy. I'm pretty sure I love them.


Ditto!


Chloe Sevigny for Opening Ceremony western buckle wedges.


Chloe Sevigny IN Opening Ceremony western buckle wedges.


These Elizabeth and James ones are ok. But the quest for gorgeous, fuck-off amazing, badass, affordable wedges continues. Holla at me if you find some.

Can we show Nicholas Kirkwood some love now please? Sculptural, beautiful, art.









OH WAIT AND LOOK AT THESE FUCK-OFF AWESOME FLATS:

no-one would step on your toes in theeeese

Next on the agenda: in addition to perfect wedges I have to find the perfect mythical bag. Hot, slouchy tote, not very expensive, not a shitty copy of a designer bag. Doooooooomed.